Feel me up Friday Awards: Contests and oil spills are worse than porn

The hubs has been glued to the internet the past week. His eyes, glazed over in a fog, have permanent reflections of little computer screens tattooed in them and his jaw, wide-open, catches stray flies and dander.

Me: Whatcha lookin at?

Hubs: *Slams laptop shut and wipes drool from lip*

Me: Uhhh what are you doing? *Crosses arms to demonstrate insecurity*

Hubs: Nothing. Just looking at some stuff. *clears throat*

Me: What kind of stuff? Naked women?

Hubs: *Looks at me with disgust and flips computer open* Never!

Me: *crouches to see what's got him so excited* Oh...

Worse than porn, the secret underwater camera tracking the big oil spill in on 24/7, and he couldn't wait to get his eyes on it, alone. With the lights out. And his pants off???

Kidding (about the pants)...

Onto contestes news. After the first one (which was quite the success), you asked for more Elana query critiques, so I bribed asked her, and she's obliged. However, due to some disconcerting chatter about the difficulty of the contest, I've gone and changed some things so all can enter, whether you rock at Candyland impersonations or not.

(The new) 

"Imma do Candyland better then Candyland Contest"

So what do you have to do?

-Tell me your favorite Candyland blog post and why. Send to

candaceganger [at] yahoo [dot] com 

That's it. Make me laugh, make me cry, whatev. 

Rules:

-If you've already sent me a blog post, DON'T re-enter! Your entry totally counts.

-If you still want to type a pitch, paragraph or pretend Candyland blog post to enter, you score extra points!

-Contest starts NOW and runs through Thursday, June 17th at midnight.

-Winners will be announced Friday, June 18th

-You MUST be a follower to enter

-Physical prizes open to U.S. peeps only, but query critique open to all!!!

-Spread the word and get virtual hugs. Blog, Tweet, Space, Face, USPS, etc and get more virtual hugs + eternal bffness love + my undying gratitude forever and ever.

-Questions? Email or leave a comment. Just be sure to include your email. And as always, eat your vegetables.

~June 1st Winning Prize~

Query critique by Elana Johnson

Life As We Knew It (paperback) by Susan Beth Pfeffer (donated by Elana!)

Matching bookmark (donated by Elana!)

~June 2nd Winning Prize~

Query critique by Elana Johnson

Before I Fall (hardback) by Lauren Oliver

~June 3rd Winning Prize~

Query critique by Elana Johnson

If you want the chance to get a top-of-the-line query critique, don't miss your chance to enter. Elana rocks and after she's done with you, your query will too.

Random Fact: I fell out of a tree when I was in 5th grade and broke my left arm. It still doesn't raise right. The more shocking part of the whole incident wasn't that immediately after, I had to pee, (and had a friend pull my pants down so I could go), but that I used to climb trees.

Random Fact: Keeping in line with shattered bones, I also cracked my tail bone after riding down a slide on a skateboard.

Thanks for the feel-up. Mmm. Good times. You know just what Mommy likes. I will get back to awards next week, but for now, a little something vs. something.

This week: The endless battle of Edward vs. my pool boy Jacob
I had a good one ready to publish and then xtranormal wanted to go and charge me, sooooo I'm afraid I'm out of the video running from here on out (unless they magically become free). In the meantime, here's some other cool chicks and they're take on the battle:
The Alliterative Allomorph
T.J. Carson's Writing Endeavors
Creepy Query Girl 
Shannon McMahon
Open a Window
Susan Fields
Pinches of Madness
Slushpile Slut
Full of Lily
So, friends, if you walked in on your husband/partner/boyfriend, what would they be caught with? And have you broken any bones?
Have a super weekend.
Candayland. OUT.