I write. You write. We all write, right?

Maybe writing isn't a way of life for some of you and you're getting ready to click away from this page. STOP! I urge you. Keep reading and you just might surprise yourself.

Today I want to keep it simple. Super simple. Like, I tell you to blink and you do-kind of simple. YOU tell ME a story in SIX WORDS OR LESS, (gotta love the CAPS). Can you do it? Can you rise to the occasion or will you run crying like a sissy man?

Need an example? How about this one:

"My brother's getting married. Poor bastard."

OR

"He cheated on her. With me."

PS. The two stories aren't even remotely related. That's sick. Not sick in a cool kind-of way, but sick as in I'm throwing up in my hand at the thought of your pervish-ness.


Still don't get it? Maybe this will help.


DEADLINE FOR ALL POSTED ENTRIES IS FRIDAY, MARCH 5th

The best entry gets a special "Winner's Post," and nothing else. Sounds awesome, I know. So be excited. Be very excited.

Dropping the F-Bomb: Failure

Writing is like falling in love. When you first meet, the butterflies distract you from what's underneath, what's real. Then you find a comfort zone and, (in your best sweats with a bowl of ice cream), get a little lazy and the writing suffers because of it. With some projects, you'll put that unfinished novel away and part on good terms and with others, you might curse and scream things you don't mean in an effort to win your way back into good graces.

I think there are two types of writers: Finishers and Failures

The Finishers are the ones who sit at the computer everyday, even when they don't want to. They learn, and revise, and perfect, and revise. They're determined to DO instead of SAY. They get feedback from others, market themselves well, and press on when all seems impossible.

The Failures are living among us. They dress like we do. They write like we do. They even get as far as we do. The big difference is, they never completely accomplish anything. They talk about doing it, but something always comes between said Failure and living the dream. Excuses.

Which one do you want to be and why?

Leave your mark; Just don't follow Lilliana's example

Snot, snot everywhere.
I even found it in my hair.
My darling daughter doesn't care.
There's just some things she shouldn't share.

Day number 9 of Lilliana's cold/flu/bug/virus/pain in my arse, and, though she didn't mean to, she's made another good point out of nothing special so, I thought I'd share.

Having only been a pseudo-professional, blog-tastic internet poster for a solid month, I've only just begun. The first couple of weeks I spent navigating what I want to share, and how I want to tell the stories that are writing/child related. Then there was a lull. Lilliana's funny. I mean, really, really funny. But it's not everyday that she does something worth posting. I'm sure most of you don't want to hear of all the bathroom antics everyday, (or do you...)

Well now I'm at the point where I'm finding other super interesting blogs (check my blog roll), and on those blogs, I'm meeting other super interesting people with their own super interesting blogs, and so on. The more I comment on those other blogs, the more attention my little site gets. That's a good thing. No-an AMAZING thing.

If you're a writer, blog or no blog, get out there and talk to other writers who are in the same boat. It's the little things that keep us sane, like commenting back and forth about Hotheads and brain function (thanks new friend, Sheri and everyone over at Kiersten Writes). There are few who really get the misery we're putting ourselves through to write the perfect novel.

So you want some advice? Leave your mark. Make an impression. Get your name out there. Make friends. Eat hotheads(!). Buy a pony. It doesn't matter. Just do something that connects you to your craft, and those reaching for the same dream.

Just don't, by any means, forget a tissue (better safe than sorry, unless you want to end up like me).

Contest time per GTLA

Another day, another contest! Gotta love Chuck Sambuchino for giving the good word. Add him to your blogroll if you haven't already because he, (and the site), rocks. The contest is open to unpublished book-length middle grade and young adult fiction. For complete details, check out the link below. Good luck!

CLICK HERE NOW to enter!

You have my word and junk

How reliable is a three year-old's word exactly? In my experience, about as reliable as my ten-day-chip-resistant nail color: NOT VERY. I'm starting to wonder where my sweet little angel is getting her vocabulary skills because I don't think I've ever said "and junk" after a sentence. No matter. It made me think. Do I throw out empty promises "and junk" too? I did a self-inventory of sorts to find the answer, which probably won't surprise those of you who know me, (insert anal retentive joke here), and the findings are inconclusive. *If you read it I promise to pay you large sums of cash upon finishing.

Number of days I've edited this year: Maybe 20, if that
Number of days I've watched Young and the Restless this year: Haven't missed one yet
Number of posts on this blog I've written including this one: 15
Number of topics I keep telling myself to write about on this blog: 100000
Number of pages on the new ms: 4 really cracked out mind benders...got stuck at 4 with no direction, really
Number of friends on Facebook: 179
Number of friends I actually talk to on Facebook: About 5
Number of books I own: 25?
Number of books I own that I've read: 3
Number of times I've said "no" to Lilliana: 99.9 today alone
Number of times I've said "no" to morning coffee: never
Number of times I've been interrupted during this post: 14. Seriously.
Number of times I've rolled my eyes: 15. One was for kicks.
Number of minutes I've wasted piddling around when I should have been editing: Too many...
Number of minutes you've wasted reading this post when you should have been doing something else: Too many...

Guess we're all in the same boat because I have no useful information here to help me pinpoint where my daughter gets the idea she can promise things, (and junk), without following through.
*Must be from her daddy



*Jokes. All just jokes.

Tricks for finding "The Zone"

In a parallel universe where Chuck Sambuchino of the Guide to Literary Agents invites authors to share the seven things they've learned thus far, http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/, I too, have learned a few tidbits I'd like to share.

*Let the child play Sesame Street online BEFORE you get into the zone.


*Give the child a reasonable snack to last at least a chapter's worth to avoid slipping in and out of the zone.


*Turn on Hannah Montana for the child to watch for twenty-three minutes of writing time.


*Bribe the child with chocolate when you're stuck because you could use some too.


*Empty both your bladder and the child's bladder before starting. If you don't assist said child, toilet paper will be in shreds on the bathroom floor or in a clump, clogging the toilet, (Lilliana's new thing now).


*Expect a ridiculous amount of interruptions where you'll accomplish nothing most days.


*Breathe. When you're done with that, stop because it takes up too much time.


*Type as fast as you can even when you're fingers have formed to the shape of a "C."


*Play hide and seek with the child but run to the computer to hide.


*When all else fails, just give up-------reverse psychology.


I'm pretty positive none of this is helpful, but lucky for you, I've proved nearly every rule on here in the twenty-three minutes it's taken to write. Thank you, Lilliana.