Those of you who know, I wear many hats. Too many.
One of them, I'll refer to it as my "bonnet," caused a monumental shift in Candyland...land...a few months back. In September, my employee position at "bonnet" was changed into an independent contracting position with fewer hours and instead of bi-weekly pay, I now receive direct deposit a month and a half ahead. In other words, I will work the end of December through [approx] January 23rd, but won't get a check until the very end of February. And so on.
With the recent birth of Baby S, things have gotten even harder. From pregnancy, he's been a needy baby. It started with the loss of fluid near his head causing me to be in and out of the hospital (= monumental bills piling up), then he died at birth. Thankfully was brought back to us but it was not without issues. He's had problems with different formulas and medications which they attribute to reflux. After we got our sweet Sully home from the hospital, his condition has only worsened.
It's been a pain in the arse. But moreso, I feel bad for him.
Also, when a baby S eats, the end result is a pee-filled or dirty diaper. Thank BERT an old friend gave us boxes of diapers back in July or we'd be using whatever t-shirt we could pin up on the kid right about now.
The loss of pay, along with Baby S's problems have had a dramatic effect/affect/effect/affect/whatever on our finances. In fact, this Christmas was the lowest we've ever been. Despite my dear husband working as much as he could and me doing the same with 2 jobs (they BOTH pay monthly...) and raising two kids, the only way we could give them a Christmas at all was by doing the unthinkable. No, not that (no one would pay for this anyway). I've gotten loans on all my jewelry, including my beloved wedding band. It stings to be in such a position. Waiting for tax time so we can get a refund to pay everyone off, popping anxiety meds every time a bill comes, wondering where our next meal will come from...
We just can't get ahead after all that's happened.
I'm telling you this because I've nowhere else to turn. I don't consider you bloggers or even friends. You're family. Everything I've gone through, you've been there with me. You've been there for me after two miscarriages, for every New Medicine post-bliss ramble, but mostly, the times in between. When I felt as though no one was listening, there you were.
But this is different. I need something else. Any other time, YOU KNOW I'd happily raise money for the women of Ghana, or the AFSP and TWLOHA. I'd even give you my marrow. Just ask. Seriously.
I'm here to strike a deal.
While I've had to stop accepting MS and queries for critique due to time, I still have the following to offer! Anyone who makes a small (miniscule, even) donation to the charity of Candyland via paypal will receive one or all of the following:
-A creepy public love letter
-The word HUG on a piece of paper that I will mail to your door
-A New Medicine sticker. Because I have a trillion.
-A humiliating picture of me posted on the web
-Undying love and respect
**ALSO: Guide to Literary Agents and Children's Writers & Illustrator's Market Editor CHUCK SAMUCHINO has come to me with a generous offer! Get your query or synopsis edited by the best in the business! He's offering his services at a discounted rate of $40, donated to me. I will then email Chuck your email address and he'll connect with you and edit within 1 week. If you need help with your query, this is a steal by a pro. Only 8 available. If you are interested, please put CHUCK somewhere in the donation notes. Email me with questions.
A little about Chuck: Chuck Sambuchino is the editor of Guide To Literary Agents and Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market (both Writer's Digest Books). He is the author of the writing books Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript, 3rd Ed. (2009) as well as Create a Writer Platform (Fall 2012). He is a popular presenter at writers conferences nationwide and runs the Guide to Literary Agents Blog (guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog), one of the biggest blogs in publishing.
He is also a humor book author, with his 2010 book How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack being featured in Reader's Digest, USA Todayand The New York Times. The film rights were recently optioned by Sony.**
This is post not a joke, as much as I wish it were. Donate .01 to 1,000,000. I don't care. If you choose to read and move on, I won't be offended. In fact, I'm going to move on after I post this. What a stupid post. I don't deserve a handout, and I sure don't want one. Make me work for it. That, I can do. Name your price.
Send all pennies to email@example.com and sparkles will combust in front of you. If you prefer, loan me your pennies and I can pay you back when the dust settles. You help me and I promise, when you need me, I will help you.
Isn't that what family's for?
I was going to delete this post after 48 hours but with a few encouraging emails I realized...my family needs all the help we can get right now...so...48+ hours later, here I am...
P.S. A few people have asked for a more direct way to help out. If you prefer snail mail, email me and I'll give you my address. Also, without being a weirdo, here's a Paypal button that's easier to click on instead of search.