The boys call me Pancake

If you've been sitting around twiddling your thumbs for my next post, I'm sorry. I don't want your thumbs to twiddle. I really don't. I could give you a bullet point list of why time has sucked away my blogging time because bullet point lists make everything seem logical.

Reasons why seedless watermelons are terrifying:

• They still contain some seeds
• They don't contain all seeds
• They make small monkeys scream
• The pink color looks like candy but it doesn't taste like candy
• This bullet list is stupid but seedless watermelons are terrific

See? With bullet points, things just make sense. But I'm not going to tip-toe around where I've been or what I've been doing. I owe you more than that. I owe you the truth. I stopped blogging because, apparently, Google does my job for me. If you can Google any of the topics below, and still find me, I've done my job, and I've done it well. 

Oh, how I miss high school. Just not for the learning part...

I'm not sure I can top any post I've done in the past, so just keep Googling, my friends. However you find me, I'll be here. Or there. Or somewhere. And when I do post and you turn up, I'll be there, too, because nothing I'm saying right now makes any sense. Except, yes. Also, no.

If it were Friday, I'd let you feel me up. Soon, friends. Soon. Until then, get to the bathroom on time and if a boy ever calls you pancake, either marry him or offer a dance-off.

<3

Candyland. OUT.