What do you stand for?

I realize you probably came to the conclusion I ran off with the circus or started communicating via sign language which is why you haven't read a post from me in a long while. And even the last one had a lull with the few before it. I miss talking to you guys on a regular basis. For realz.

In the time that has filled the spaces between blog posts, I've been busy pulling toys from the litter, clean clothes from the trash and melted candy from tiny hands. And that's just #2 ( the child, not the bathroom reference). Offspring #1 is a whole other story, which I'm getting to.

At the start of the school year, my sweet baby girl was targeted by a neighbor who 1) rode on the same bus and 2) was in the same class. Lilli was afraid to wear her hair in pigtails because the girl told her it was "annoying." Then it became her not wanting to wear certain clothes because the girl said she looked fat. Of course, the girl started following her home, poking at her, trying to steal our mail. Soon after, Lilli came home with nail marks on her arm, and then, the last straw--pinch marks on her nose from where the girl pinched her nose shut in an effort to make her stop breathing. Because my daughter talked to this girl's boyfriend.

They are all SIX YEARS OLD.

There were calls to the school and promises that things would be 'taken care of' however, it took the better part of a whole school year for anything to change and I'm still unsure as to what really got through to the girl who often wanders around the neighborhood, alone. I feel bad for her. I hate that she doesn't have parents teaching her right from wrong, or hugging her a lot, or really paying any attention to her. But she is not my first concern. My baby is.

Through all of this, the hubs and I watched this incredibly powerful movie, Bully. We knew from the trailer not to make any other plans because it was sure to leave us in tears. It did more than that. Sure, this running I've been doing (half marathon in 1.5 weeks) has loosened up a lot of emotions that had been stuck in the dark crevices of my heart, but this movie broke off a big chunk. It was like something was pulling me to do more. A lot more.

You all know me. I've raised money for lots of charities and even when we're broke, I find ways to keep giving. I always wanted to change the world, but my voice has remained so small. Bully was sort of a breakthrough. Maybe it was the timing with Offspring #1 and what she was going through, maybe it was time for me to confront my own bullies, maybe I just realized how to fulfill my destiny. Regardless, it prompted me to reach out to those in the film, the Bully creators, as well as our school Superintendent and the movement that is growing from it could potentially be amazing.

I'll be hosting a Stand For The Silent Anti-Bullying Rally and screeninng in Covington, Ohio on Sunday, August 4th, with guest speaker, Kirk Smalley, who is featured in Bully. I am also in talks with a few others who may be a part of this benefit to which all funds raised through donations and a raffle will go to Mr. Smalley to spread awareness to other communities for SFTS. My part in this is very small right now but I hope to become a bigger part with the success of this event.

I'm telling you this because I need your help. You don' have to come to the rally though, I'd give you 7 hugs if you did and they'd be long and awkward. You probably wouldn't want to leave after that. You don't even have to donate via the link below. If you did, I'd send you some cool SFTS stuff and give you internet hugs. What you can do is share the link (if you want)! Whether I have financial backers funding this event or not, makes no difference. I'm starting to realize why I'm on this earth (aside from my babies) and if it all comes out of our wallet, so be it. But if you want to be  part of helping me, share the link, use the link, date the link...whatever you see fit. I promise you, I will hug you somehow, someway.

SHARE OR DONATE: STAND FOR THE SILENT ANTI-BULLYING RALLY

Did you know suicide is the 4th lading cause of death in children under 14? Help me Stand For The Silent so that my daughter or your son don't become another victim of bullycide or any other form of bullying. Remember The End It Now Project? This is that, but MUCH bigger. I'm not getting a lot of Facebook...or real life support right now and if there's anything I've learned, it's that authors/writers take care of each other.

Tell me what do you stand for?

<3
Candyland. OUT.

Hey! Filthy Spammers...

Um...

It's true. I've been MIA off and on since the birth of #2.

HOWEVER, we still have manners, yes? My super kewl blogger friends would never leave scuzzy, spammy comments for me to find. They rock hard.

You, filthy spammers, do not rock. You are the opposite of rocking. You roll. You roll so hard you're making us all dizzy. Is that your goal? If so, YAY! If not, look into how to rock online and SPAM them instead.

I may not be around as much as I once was but this is still my home and you are trashing it.

If you SPAM me, I will delete it and the SPAM gods will visit you in your sleep and SPAM your dreams with guilty images of me scolding you.

Promise.

To my actual, non-SPAMMY awesome bloggers, I <3 you. I will be posting more often once this schedule isn't thieving my rational thoughts (did I ever really have any?). Miss you. Love you. Mean it.

<3

Candyland. OUT.

Fat is jiggly

Yo.

Get this. Not only have I been running for a few months now, but I'm training for my first half-marathon!

WHAAAA?

Yes. In case you don't know me, that last sentence is absurd because I don't run. Like ever. If Michael Myers himself were chasing me, I'd still walk at a brisk pace. Running is for people who need to work on patience. Or people that need a bathroom. It's not for people like me. Well, except it is now it is.

I don't know how it happened but somewhere in this super stressful few months, I found refuge in hitting the pavement. No music, just the sounds of my breath and my feet against the earth are all I need. It's like therapy. For everyone I've ever wanted to punch in the ear, I run for you. So I don't punch you in the ear.

You're welcome.

On the downside of all this extremely strange behavior, I have no proper running gear. Imagine running in a blizzard or a torrential downpour with a huge hooded sweatshirt, too big sweat pants and shoes that give you blisters. I've done that. Almost daily. I've taken care of the shoes part, but the rest will have to wait. Even the hubs has joined me in my quest to torture myself for 13.1 miles which is like WHOA.

His shoes are tearing a part along the bottom soles and with registration fees for this race being the equivalent of our monthly car insurance (for both of us), we decided to get sponsors. But due to an underwhelming response (read: we have one amazing sponsor whom I love dearly), and my bounty of resourcefulness, I present an open letter to my most favorite people in the whole world (YOU).

***

Happy New Year! We are a husband and wife team training for the nation’s largest half-marathon, One America 500 Festival Mini-Marathon, in Indianapolis, IN. The race, to be held Saturday, May 4^th, 2013, will be our 1^st and we’re looking for sponsors! With one of us being a stay-at-home-mom to our 2 small children, the costs involved for travel, gear, and registration fees are more than we can afford, no matter how badly we want to achieve this goal together. For those of you who don't know us, running this race is just about the last thing you'd expect us to do (aside from finally teaching a gorilla sign language like we've always dreamed)!

What do you get out of sponsoring us?

·         -Press coverage via local newspaper outlets

·        - Recognition via all efforts to raise money on a flat-fee or ‘per mile ran’ basis for our school system

·         -Your name or business included on the back of our race day t-shirts 

No amount is too small! Seriously. Like $1 gets you a spot on our backs. We are truly grateful for any donation and will strive to do our best for you. In fact, most mornings you’ll see us out in the rain, wind, and snow as we train harder than we ever have before! Our bodies hate us! But we don't care! We're going to do it or little unicorns will lose their horns.

Indy peeps: We also invite you to make the trip to come cheer us on! Visit www.500festival.com/mini-marathon for details.

If you are interested in becoming a sponsor, email me at candaceganger [at] yahoo [dot] com.

We can't do this without you. Well, we can, but then we wouldn't get to wear your name. Not under normal circumstances, anyway.Whether you sponsor us monetarily or emotionally, we *heart* you. When we cross the finish line, we will think of you. And probably Ryan Gosling because that's a given.

FutureHalf-MarathonFinishersCandyland+TheHubs. OUT.

I'm Forked

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves walking, whistling (yuck, never), and smiling without a care in the world and then out of the blue, we realize we're waist-deep in a pile of manure wondering how the crap we got into the crap and how the super crap we're going to dig our way out of the crap. It's often referred to as a fork in the road, or a defining moment when we'll choose which path to take. Will it be to fall over and sink into the manure or to dig your way out? Will it be give up or fight? 

Will it be this life or that one?

Probing, yes (that's what he said). But what's the answer? For me, the time has come to put aside [pretty much] everything to focus solely on my family. For the last many years, I've been pushing them off when my primary full time job is supposed to be full-time SAHM. It started off that way when offspring #1 was small, but of course life is effing expensive, so, without leaving home, I found ways to make some cash. No, I did not sell my crazy hot bod (yeah right) from my living room couch. Nor did I invent the wheel but man I wish I had. However, I did use, to the best of my ability, my so-called writing skills to help make ends meet. 

But not without painful sacrifice.

I used to love writing but for months now I've been battling with a multitude of issues that have led to this nagging feeling deep in my gut telling me to choose. My kids or my work. I tried to ignore it, but I realized it's time to give my children the attention they deserve while they're still young. I guess all I needed was a good fork to make me choose. We may not be rich in money, but I hope we make up for it in love, or whatever that saying is. I should be a philosopher. Maybe I'll look into that.

Anyway, my only New Year's resolution in the coming year is to be the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, and person I can be. Everything else will just have to wait. I'll write that killer book (in my own name) someday. I'll devise a plan to rid the world of plastic cups someday. I'll swim with the dolphins someday. I'll have a pony named Tickle Tickle someday. I'll touch Ryan Gosling's abs someday.

With all the tragedy in the world, I just want to hug my loved ones tight for as long as I can. What else matters, really? I'm hugging you all now. For a really long time. And no, I won't let go.

Thanks for always reading, always supporting, and always hugging me right back.

What are your resolutions for the coming year? I hope it involves hugs and/or ponies.

<3

Candyland. OUT.

Books = Happy Faces

Yesterday, offspring #1 brought home a paper explaining that her homework this week is to write a letter to one of the soldiers the class "adopted" from a platoon of 24 men. We haven't worked on it yet, mostly because when asked what she wanted to say, she remarked on Justin Bieber's "cute smile" and that she'd like to "be Korean" like Psy and really do it Gangnam style. I felt these two things may not be the best way to lift a soldier's spirits, so we're still brainstorming on the letter. In the meantime, she drew this:

The other part of her homework is ongoing, through December 14th. Because the class adopted a whole platoon, they're looking to fill as many boxes of things for the soldiers as possible. One thing on the list that obvs caught my eye was BOOKS. Of course I didn't even flinch because I've met so many amazing authors who I hope will want to help some soldiers have a happy holiday, even though they're away from home.

If you have a published book, or know an author or editor who does, please pass this post on. I'd love to make sure every soldier gets a book (preferably autographed). If you're interested in helping out, email me at candaceganger@yahoo.com. You'll be able to mail to me or to the school directly. Whichever makes you more comfortable. I'll give you all the details and I'll also pretend I'm hugging you. I might even kiss your forehead on behalf of all those serving our country.

Regardless if you help, please spread the word.
I WANT AT LEAST 24 BOOKS!

I also want a pony named Tickle who wears ribbons in her hair and a cow named Marcia who eats strawberries. If you can make that happen, you'll get more than a forehead kiss.

Be giving this season, friends. And while you're at it, tell me one of your holiday traditions. Do you have a cookie swap? Do you wear only cable-knit sweaters with pictures of Prancer? Tell me!

<3

Candyland. OUT.

This is where time stands still

Friends. I come to you with a heavy heart.

If you remember, I came to you in January and poured my soul onto the web. I was ashamed and embarrassed and thought there's no way anyone could possibly care enough to hold out a helping hand.

I was so wrong.

Dozens of you stepped in. You made sure we had diapers, formula, and gas money to get back and forth from the doctor as Baby S went through a difficult time, medically. Some of you sent me a single dollar and told stories of how it was your last dollar but my story touched you and you couldn't turn away. Even being a writer, I still cannot find the right words for how grateful my family and I are for having so many angels out there. Without you, my husband, two small children and I would have drowned.

But now, it's my turn to pay it forward.

I came across a local woman's story, Jeanna Guffey, that has me completely heartbroken. This is about a mother (a friend of a friend) who, in all her braveness, chose to carry her 4th child to term even though she'd been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cervical cancer that put her at a 5-year survival rate WITH conventional chemo and radiation. This woman chose to forego those treatments and preserve her quality of life left with her beautiful babies and husband.

In the last few days, updates state the woman is now in hospice. With children ages 6, 4, 2 and a newborn born in July, her husband is currently off work and their insurance does NOT cover anything she's in need of. You can see where I just want to empty my wallet and send every single penny to help this family. This immediately makes me think of my darling Lenny Lee, whom I want to smother with hugs. In case you don't recall, here's his interview where, despite his ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia), he remains the strongest and most positive person I've ever known.

I've lost my biological father and a great uncle; Erik lost his grandmother. A friend's mother is in remission. Cancer is everywhere these days. It's frightening. In terms of Jeanna, I cannot imagine leaving my babies at such a young age and the pain this family carries goes beyond the financial. You reached out to help my family because you honestly are the greatest people I've ever "met." Please let this be just another way for you to show your awesomeness and consider donating or sending positive vibes or even thoughtful cards to this family who so desperately needs a giant hug.

Imagine if this were your sister.
Or your daughter.
Or your best friend.
Or YOU.

***

UPDATE: I wrote this yesterday morning...before I'd heard the news that Jeanna Guffey passed away. Just 4 months after giving birth to her 4th child, she is now with the angels. I have cried about this non-stop. I don't have to know her to put myself in her shoes. To think about leaving my children so soon. To think about how broken her dear husband is feeling right now with losing his wife and the mother of his children and now having to do it all...WITHOUT HER.

Click on THIS LINK to read more and to donate or get an address to send cards to. With Christmas approaching, let's help to make sure these 4 precious babies are enveloped with more than the grief of losing a mother. I want you to reach out, just as you did to me, and send this father and children any of the things below:

-Diapers
-Gift cards for formula, food and gas
-Money to help pay doctor bills and lost income
-Books for the children
-A card to say you care
-ANYTHING

Just reach out. Any way you can. Please. Help heal this family's heart. I would do a Candyland-style fundraiser if I had known about this sooner but now it's about showing these humans we are all human, offering compassion and a virtual hug.

To ANYONE who donates or sends anything between now and Dec. 1st, send me an email at candaceganger@yahoo.com with the subject titled "I DONATED"for a query, synopsis, or 1st chapter critique. It doesn't matter how busy I am. You help them, I help you. 

As always, you rock more than you know and I *heart* you so much, I'd share my grilled cheese.
Even if you choose not to donate, please help spread the word.

<3

Candyland. OUT.

The boys call me Pancake

If you've been sitting around twiddling your thumbs for my next post, I'm sorry. I don't want your thumbs to twiddle. I really don't. I could give you a bullet point list of why time has sucked away my blogging time because bullet point lists make everything seem logical.

Reasons why seedless watermelons are terrifying:

• They still contain some seeds
• They don't contain all seeds
• They make small monkeys scream
• The pink color looks like candy but it doesn't taste like candy
• This bullet list is stupid but seedless watermelons are terrific

See? With bullet points, things just make sense. But I'm not going to tip-toe around where I've been or what I've been doing. I owe you more than that. I owe you the truth. I stopped blogging because, apparently, Google does my job for me. If you can Google any of the topics below, and still find me, I've done my job, and I've done it well. 

Oh, how I miss high school. Just not for the learning part...

I'm not sure I can top any post I've done in the past, so just keep Googling, my friends. However you find me, I'll be here. Or there. Or somewhere. And when I do post and you turn up, I'll be there, too, because nothing I'm saying right now makes any sense. Except, yes. Also, no.

If it were Friday, I'd let you feel me up. Soon, friends. Soon. Until then, get to the bathroom on time and if a boy ever calls you pancake, either marry him or offer a dance-off.

<3

Candyland. OUT.