Zesty.

That's how I feel now that this challenge is over. Completely zesty. And I really wanna say ZOINKS! but have no relevant platform. Back to my regular blog crap on Monday. Be there or just be. Whatev.

How do you feel on this last day of A to Z madness?


Candyland. OUT.

Just say YES.

Should you have that extra piece of chocolate? Yes.
Do you look great in those jeans in spite of the chocolate? Yes.
Are you a fantastic writer? Yes.
Do you deserve your dreams coming to fruition? Yes.
Is Candyland you're favorite place to visit? Yes.
Should you sell your body for money in times of financial crisis? Yee.....wait...

Tell me, what will you say YES to today? If it's illegal (Timothy), speak in code. This is a safe place.


Candyland. OUT.

X, you're pathetic

Xpect a stupid post because next to Q, the O imposter, there aren't many actual Xciting words to talk about.

So I won't even try.

See? Set the bar low. I'm amazed by myself already.

Tell me, besides xylophone, xerox (which sounds like an effing Z) and x-ray, what the eff can you spell with X?

Candyland. OUT.

What if.

What if you're dreams never come true?

Are you okay with that, or will you fight until they do?

What if you thought you had it all, but you're not even close?

Will you settle or keep trying?

I know where I'm at. What about you?

Tell me.

Candyland. OUT.

Vehemently Vocal

Yesterday.
3pm.
Kroger.
Screaming offspring in the toy isle.
She was with me.
Apologies, loyal customers.

Have you, any of your offspring, or your partner had any outbursts lately? Were they over a Polly Pocket? Did you shove the grocery cart into someone to make yourself feel better?


Candyland. OUT.

Underachiever

Don't be one. Aim high. Or set the bar really low and you'll amaze yourself. That's what I do.

(Short + sweet)

Are you an over achiever or under achiever?


Candyland. OUT.

Truth time.

I've been eating Easter candy like there's no tomorrow.

My thighs are proof.

I watch the Secret Life of the American Teenager but, the whole time, I wonder why.

I sometimes enjoy iCarly when the offspring is gone.

I'm in denial about my (already) preggo weight gain and still stuff my fat a$$ into the same clothes.

I wish I had a helper monkey. In a red jacket + hat.

Tell me your truth today. I dare you.

Candyland. OUT.

Finally.

Are you lazy? Do you find it absolutely draining to lift your fork to your mouth from your plate that is SO far away? Then boy, do I have a solution for you. The Shirt Plate. Seriously.

Would YOU invest in this? I know the hubs has it on his Christmas list...


Candyland. OUT.

Rats.

I woke up just in time to get to work. Therefore, this is all you get. Bet you're glad you stopped by for all this.

And, you're welcome.

Tell me, are you tired of the A to Z posts yet? I'm there.


Candyland. OUT.

What a stupid...

...Letter. I refuse to succumb to you, Q. I do not want to talk about Queries or quitting or quilts or quacks. Even though, I've sent many, wanted to, have none and know many. So Q, today, I will not salute you. Instead, I will leave you with a post like this because I don't have time to wonder why you're just an O wannabe. You're basically an American who wears a beret and calls himself French.

I'm not falling for it. I'm over you.

Tell me friends, do you know a truly fantastic Q word or do you think it blows, too?


Candyland. OUT.

I'm Possessed...

By Elana Johnson's POSSESSION! Seriously. I already knew she was a kick ass person/writer/blogger/everything, but after receiving the Possession ARC in Ali's contest, I read the whole thing in about 3 days. And if you know me, that is not the norm.

Elana has a way of drawing you in. Her characters are memorable, her voice is *so* her. And the story left me wanting more (in a good way).

June 7th, go to the bookstore and buy this shizz. Or pre-prder. Like yesterday. If you don't, I will hunt you down in your sleep.

Tell me, friends, have you gotten your hands on Possession yet? Do you even know what I'm talking about? Can I have $6,000 for a down payment on a house? K Thanks.

Candyland. OUT.
#possessionlove

O, the Gossip...

Today is the FIRST day of Rose Cooper's Gossip From the Girls Room blog tour and O-O-O--> you want to hear what she has to say. Seriously. Without further adieu, I give you the beautifully talented, Rose...

"I wrote the entire book of GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLS ROOM by hand. It really wiped me out, but what could I do? I was on a roll!

Seriously though, I carried a sketchbook with me everywhere and wrote GOSSIP FROM THE GIRLS’ ROOM from beginning to end. This worked out especially great because now when I do school visits or talk to kids, I bring my notebooks to show them. The kids love visuals (and mistakes!) of the process. That, and I tell them it’s super secret stuff. Add “super secret” to anything, and you’ll instantly have anyone’s attention! 

Okay, ready for a super secret?

Here is the very first page in my sketchbook, the very first thing I EVER wrote for GOSSIP. Don’t strain trying to read my handwriting. And please, hold back the laughter.

The 2nd book in the Blogtastic! Series, RUMORS FROM THE BOYS’ ROOM will be in stores 10-11-11. And yes, I wrote this one in a sketchbook too! In RUMORS, Sofia has sworn off gossiping, although secrets have a tendency to conveniently reach her sensitive ears. Here is the very beginning (exclusively for all of Candyland’s readers!)."

It was a total accident! I swear! I didn’t mean to see two of my teachers talking all secret-like. And I also didn’t mean to hear what they were talking all secret-like about either.

Just because I was kinda tip toeing back to my locker after school since I forgot my cell phone, and trying not to make my presence known, does NOT mean I was being sneaky in any way. In fact, the old Sofia Becker would’ve gossiped. But the new Sofia Becker has decided that gossip is best left for the columnists and not the awesomeness of what is called my blog.

Do you think Sofia can resist the gossip? RUMORS is now available for pre-order!

A BIG thanks to Rose for stopping by on this O-SO-DUBIOUS(?)-MONDAY. Tell me, friends, do you have any gossip for me today? I won't tell...

Candyland+Rose. OUT.


P.S. Check out the rest of Rose's tour!

Tuesday, April 19^th: The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment 
Find out how the illustration process works and see (exclusively!) illustrations cut from Gossip From The Girls' Room!

Wednesday, April 20th: Rambles & Randomness 
A way fun interview and a image of how I did my research for Gossip (never before seen!) And win a copy of GOSSIP!

Thursday, April 21st:  Unedited
See the graphic evolution of Sofia Becker from Gossip. What? She had other looks? Wait till you see!

Friday, April 22nd: Talli Roland 
What's the most embarrassing question I get asked? And seen before drawings from my childhood (yikes!)

Saturday, April 23rd: Booking Mama 
Did you get teased or bullied as a kid? I did! Find out what about!

Monday, April 25th: Random Acts of Reading
Omigosh! Did I really send a query to Random House when I was a kid? Visit to find out!

Tuesday, April 26th: Amie Borst
A way humorous Q&A session and revealing book covers, including the new cover for RUMORS! Plus, awesome giveaway!

Nothing.

That's what I have today. It's Saturday and I have crap to do. So this is my post. Deal with it.

What do you have planned today?


Candyland. OUT.

MOOBS

Does your feller have them or are you a feller that has them?

Just curious. Let's have a poll, shall we? Vote one of the following:


-My feller has MOOBS and I don't care!
-I'm a feller with MOOBS and I love my curves!
-I don't have those things. I have pecs.
-What's a MOOB?
-Where am I again?

Happy Friday, friends.
<3

Candyland. OUT.
P.S. For the record, the hubs thinks he has MOOBS, though, he does not.

Land of Candy

In my Land, there are faces of beauty and writers worth envy. In my Land, there are posts of caring and Tweets worth sharing. In my Land, love is endless and flaws are appreciated. In my Land, I'm inspired, re-wired, on fire because of YOU.

In my Land, I write. I breathe. I speak. I love.
In my Land, I bare. I breathe. I believe. I aspire.
In my Land, I cry. I breathe. I laugh. I dream.

If you're here, you're loved more than you know. You're not lost, because you are home.

Friends, you are not what you write, but what writes you. Tell your stories. Live. Dream. Love. So tell me, when you are in Candyland, what is your favorite part? Least favorite?

Candyland. OUT.

If you ever send this, be prepared for a dropkick

K. I hate when people only reply with K. What a waste of a text. K? K.

CL: What if we get pizza?
Whoever: K
CL: I'm in labor:
Whoever: K

Nononono.

What's you're pet peevial equiv to my K?


Candyland. OUT.

Some of these just blow, while others...blow less

Jokes.

I really hate someone who wastes seconds of my life with gems like these:

-Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

-Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

But if you tell me one of these, we'll be BFFness 4-eva:

-A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

-A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy."

-Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

How about you...are you a joke hater like me or did you spit out your [insert bev] reading the last few? Know any good ones (or time wasters that will make me want to cut you)?

Candyland. OUT.

If you want to IRK me...

You can be the awful heat that stuffed up our house so bad, none of us slept.
You can sing me a song really (adverb warning) loudly as soon as I wake from said non-sleep.
You can be the headache that the heat gave me.
You can be the soy milk that is passing through my system in an unpleasant way.
You can be the bathroom trip I make 4-5 times a night. #preggo
You can be the a-hole cat that has chosen MY couch as his new spot.
You can be the money that's not in my bank account, no matter how much work I do #billssuck.
You can be a stupid commercial.
You can be the work week.
You can be Team Edward.

What about you, friends? What IRKS you on this...ugghhh...Monday?


Candyland. OUT.

Hawt Totty

Things that are HOT in the most absurd way:

What's the hottest thing in your world RIGHT NOW? Happy Saturday, kids.

Candyland. OUT.

You either have them or you don't

Gonads.

I was not born with them but I'd like to think I have them when it counts. Hardy har har.

How about you?


Candyland. OUT.

FIRETRUCK

Firetruck.

Sometimes as a parent, things happen and, you know, words fly. SHIZZ! HELLLLLO! POOP! But the one that comes the fastest, and easiest, when our 4yo colors on her bed or gets play dough in the carpet is:

FIRETRUCK.

Disclaimer: These words were not actually used. In fact, I've already washed my mouth out several times for the real words used.


Do you sensor yourself when you're potty mouth wants to break free?


Candyland. OUT.

The heart monitor that makes me go OOH-LA-LA

E. K. G. (aka, the hubs, aka Erik G, aka Mr. Candyland)

He's pretty much the cat's MEOW. Sure, he whistles. And yeah, his constant laughter + whistling are anything but inspiring first thing in the effing morning, but man, oh man, how I love thee. Dancing and all.
Remember this guy?

Who's YOUR EKG? <3


Candyland. OUT.

It's in your head

Dreams.

We all have them.

Every day and night.

We cry over them.

We bleed.

We sweat.

We work.

And work some more.

Until they come true.

Because giving up is not an option.

To all you dreamers, you're in good company.

What are you dreaming about today?


Candyland. OUT.

C is for CRAP and I'm full of it.

Everything that comes out of my mouth these days is just crap after crap after crap.
"I feel fantastic."
"That broccoli smells great!"
"I love Kings of Leon."
"Winter sucks, hurry up spring."
"This major revision is going great!"
"No, I haven't gained any weight."

Lies. All lies. Don't believe a word I say. Well, maybe you better. My hormones are in high gear and you don't want to make a preggo cry.

Or do you? Huh? Huh?

What crap have you spewed lately?


Candyland. OUT.

B is for BUNS! And BLOAT! And Surprisingly, not BRADY!

I'm having one around 10-29. Technically, this is the second bun I've had in my oven, but this little fighter is something of a miracle and already, I'm a bloated cow. So pretty.

(Bet you thought I'd talk all about a certain bass player)

Do you have any buns in the oven or already baked? What about sticky buns? I'm hungry.

Candyland. OUT.

A is for A-holes

Today starts to the A to Z Blogging Challenge which means you'll have your way with me 6 days a week. But be gentle. My posts will be unusually short, to the point and mindless. But you can't expect much else from me now, can you? Oh + WELCOME NEW FRIENDS (don't expect intelligence or dignity in Candyland, btw).

Today's letter: A!

Today's Topic: A-holes!

Not a fan. Not of the cat variety (see pic below) or human. A-holes pretty much ruin my day and make my tacos less authentic tasting. What do A-holes have to do with tacos? Nothing. But they do have a lot to do with sucking the soul from my earthly carcass and that is just what this dude does. Seriously.

Who's your favorite A-Hole cat, celeb, family member?

Candyland. OUT.