Friday, May 28, 2010

Feel me up Friday Awards: Toilet glasses are SO *me*

Yesterday, I took the offspring to what's known collectively as "the outside mall." It boasts a super sweet underground sprinkler system in the center, so we got her all suited up and sent her into the water while I sat uncomfortable and sweaty along the sidelines. I hate to sweat. It makes me angry. But I think I browned a little, so...bonus.

I hope while I was telling this incredibly LAME story, you were busy ignoring me, typing up your bestest Imma do Candyland better than Candyland contest entry. Times a wastin', and you DON'T want to miss the chance to win one of THREE query critiques from the lovely Miss Elana Johnson. When you're done with (what's soon to be known as) super-amazing-blog post entry, take a mosey over to Matthew's blog where Elana's query is up for public consumption. You'll then see why I *heart* her brilliance so much.

Side note: Check out this crazy/hysterical site, Shit my kids ruined. It had me laughing forfreakingever.

Random Fact: I once dropped my glasses in the toilet at a strip club. There's so many things wrong with that sentence, I know...

Random Fact: When I was 12, I weighed close to 200lbs. YIKES! This is very true. I have an "I love Steven Tyler" shirt that I got at that weight, and over the years as I shrank, I cut the shirt down to size and used safety pins to hold it together. Ahh the wonder years.

Whoa! A little rough today, aren't you? Take it easy. I know you're excited about winning a critique, but really. I like to take things slow. Eh, who am I kidding. That was FANTASTIC (except for the embarrassing facts)! Feel me up again next Friday. Until then, some awards! And I want to apologize in advance because I have no clue where these came from since I've been holding them for so long. So if you gave it to me, comment and I'll link you:)

Thanks to each and every one of you who's given me an award. I *heart* you all more than you know. This week's Unedited "something vs. something": tube socks vs. ankle socks. I was half asleep creating this one, sooooo it's not my best work, and as always, Gram could not be more indifferent (mainly because she can't hear)...

Now, go check out these other talented ladies and see who wins their arguments.
The Alliterative Allomorph 
T.J. Carson's Writing Endeavors 
Creepy Query Girl 
Shannon McMahon 
Open Window 
Susan Field 
Pinches of Madness 
Unedited (Jen)
Slushpile Slut

Candyland. OUT.
P.S. Enter the "Imma Do Candyland better than Candyland contest" HERE


S.A. Larsenッ said...

Thanks for the award, sweetie. So much info from you this morn. How'd ya' do it??? I mean after 'browning' and sweating, yesterday?

Be safe this weekend and have one on me. Going to check out Matt!

Well, Elana...U No.

Stina said...

Wow, I never would have guess that about your old weight. You look amazing. I guess cutting off your head lost a few pounds, too. ;)

I'm off to check out Elana's query. Okay, I actually have it memorized (I have her ebook), but I still love reading it. Sigh. summer 2011 isn't going to come soon enough!

Unknown said...

Thank you for the award!!!! I love it! One more to add to my pile! I'm trying to do an award mega post tomorrow... and there are a million over them! Okay so I'm not that special, but I can see you've racked up a lot as well!! Congratulations on yours and I can't wait to add the new one to the pile! I'll have one for you up tomorrow... but it's to early since today is VIDEO DAY!

Loved your video... it was so awesome... Gram cracks me up!!! I can't help but wonder what she'll say next!

Matthew MacNish said...

I can relate about the awards because while I love them and they are a great way to connect, I just don't have a mind organized enough to keep track of them.

Want so bad to watch your video but can't.

Today's guest blogger is THE Elana Johnson!

Linda G. said...

You crack me up! BTW, am I the only one who thinks "tube socks" sounds really dirty?

Jaydee Morgan said...

Yep, Gram is so much fun!! I love it :)

And congrats on all your awards - much deserved!

Creepy Query Girl said...

lol- Great vid. Your 'Imma Do Candyland' entry is still mulling around my head so I gotta get it down! Hope you get to 'brown' some more this weekend!

JE said...

I love those vid's. I'm going to have to try my hand at one soon. Now that I've checked out that website, it's seems easy enough.

Thanks for the award!

Have a wonderful weekend!


Jessica Bell said...

LOL. Did you seriously drop your glasses in a toilet at a strip club? How old were you? What kinda strip club was it?

A friend of mine in Oz convinced me to come to a strip club full of female strippers once so that she didn't have to go alone. She was writing a paper for media studies ... LOL I tell you what, it was a CRAZY experience.

Sherrie Petersen said...

I once dug beads from a bracelet out of the toilet. Wasn't in a strip club tho... :)

Lydia Kang said...

Aww, shucks.
Thanks for the award!
I'm trying not to visualize the glasses-in-the-strip-club-toilet scene.
But you ought to include that somewhere in your writing someday. It's too good to pass up, for so many reasons!

Major linkage here! Did it take you hours?

T.J. Carson said...

congratulations! I gave you the blogger buddy one! And adlakjfladkjioadjkv I didn't get around to making a video this week. argh. :(

Tahereh said...

OMG thank you for the award!! *HUGGLES* you're a doll! and hehe i love your little snippets!

you are all kinds of awesome.

heart you big!

Candyland said...

Linda, uuhh tube socks IS dirty!
Lydia it did take me about an hour to link everyone.
T.H. I hearts you big too:)

Karen Jones Gowen said...

Now I am REALLY curious to know how you went from a 200 lb 12 year old to your present day self? WHAT is the story behind that?

Dawn Ius said...

Thanks for the blogger buddy award! I heart you :-) And thanks (mostly) for the link - I've now wasted lots of time laughing and reconsidering whether I DO want children...

Clara said...

Congrats on the awards and to the winners! And girl, I laughed my arse off, poor nanna she needs good lovin back in her life!

Shannon said...

Thanks for the award, Candy. :) You're too sweet.

Mike is home today - we spent a good 20 minutes laughing at the link you provided. Yep - great birth control.

Have a great weekend!

Zoe C. Courtman said...

"I hate to sweat. It makes me angry." LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. That and the Shit My Kids Ruined site just made my freakin' Friday. Thanks! Love this blog, man.

Zoe C. Courtman said...

And thanks for the award!!!

Lenny Lee said...

hi miss candace! thanks for the blogger buddy award. it was a really BIG surprise for me and got me feeling way special. my brother helped me put it on my blog and it looks real neat. youre really cool and real nice. ...hugs from lenny

The Urban Cowboy said...

Wow, thanks Candace for the award! It really means something coming from such a creative, even if your headless, writer.

Awesome video, I'm gonna have to experiment with that.

Talli Roland said...

Yippee! Thanks so much for the award!

I have been absolute RUBBISH with awards lately but I'll try to pass it on soon!

Patti said...

That's a great idea about your t-shirt and yes that website about kids destroying stuff is hilarious.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Thanks for the award!!!

Those are some danged destructive kids! Geez. Make mine look like saints.

Okay -- glasses in the toilet at the strip club is SO worthy of a short story, or at least a skit.

And that has to be the first line.

Culture Served Raw said...

Great blog, I loved the post on the pool boy, very funny writing. Congrats on the awards, I can see that you deserve them


Shannon O'Donnell said...

Oh, wow! Thanks so much Candace! I've been coveting that award for a while now - he he he. I'm super honored to get the bff award from you - your blog is so popular and you are so loved!! You rock, girl! Muah! :-)