While putting my hair up into a pony tail this morning, my sleep-deprived face staring back at me, I noticed something. My arms, slightly larger than usual, flapped like a turkey's neck.
Watching the skin ripple and wave, I had a thought:
"Make the Ignitors good guys, not bad."
Crazy Chicago mania say what? You heard right. Inspiration is everywhere if you're eyes and ears are open. Kick writer's block's arse simply by appreciating the small things, i.e, a flabby arm, a coffee stain on your favorite pair of jeans, a new rip in your favorite pair of jeans, (maybe I need a new pair of jeans?), your daughter's laughter, anything...
Okay, so maybe your next bestseller won't stem from pinching your love handles or pumping your fists at Chloe on 24, but then again, maybe it will. You write until you find inspiration, or you wait until it finds you. Make the most of your time, thoughts and brain power. Obviously, I'm not. Chicago really fried my brain. Oy.
Three tips for kicking writer's block stat:
-Go do something else. Get your mind off. Whoa, that came out wrong, yet I'm too tired to delete.
-Take an idea and brainstorm. Write the idea in the center of a piece of paper and extend branches of different ways the story could go. Challenge yourself beyond the usual limit. Then fold up the paper into an airplane and fly it into your husband (or whoever's) head. Then, laugh.
-Push through. Sounds like crap, right? Well, sometimes the only way to get past it, is to go through it first. When your mind is clear, go back and fix whatever needs fixed. No biggie.
Tell me, friends, what do you do to get your arms in shape? Oh, wait, I mean, what do you do to cure writer's block?
Ahh. Candyland Out.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Believe: If you don't, who the hell will?
I, Candyland, hereby name Elana Johnson my good luck charm.
Okay, seriously.
After an amazing interview with loads of new faces dropping in, I had a bit of a mishap. I was so giddy blogging away, smiling so much my face hurt, ignoring the carpal tunnel tightening my grip, I forgot about something. A query. To a really amazing agent. My dream agent, actually. And guess what happened? Can you guess? Can you?
She rejected me.
It was a personal note, nice, but still. Giddiness went sour, smile faded but face still sore, and the carpal tunnel has officially taken my right hand hostage. This post is being typed with my left hand and is taking FOREVER. So if there's grammatical errors, punctuation, clarity, uh sorry.
So anyway, after a wonderful day, I started really doubting my abilities. Again. Oh self-doubt, why do I loathe thee? Better yet, why do I succumb to you? You're not hot, you don't treat me well and you're broke.
I think life has giveth and a taketh aways. Like this:
Had coffee. Got a stomach ache. Great blog/new followers. Query rejection by number one on my list. Had Taco Bell. Had emergency bathroom break. Felt like a fatty trying on outfits for Saturday's reception in Chicago (btw congrats TJ and Jill). Got home to super crazy mood lifter which leads me to my point....
I posted awhile back about Sourcebooks/Teenfire Writing Contest, in which I became a semi-finalist. It was crazy exciting because I've seriously never gotten close to winning anything except a Boyz II Men dance contest. And that was only 2nd place. If you think I'm joking, read on.
It was at the Boys and Girls Club, in uh, not the best neighborhood. I was nine and alone. Mom dropped me off in the hood, wearing my dance tights and leotard with high tops. I was too cool for school. Let me first say, (after I've already said a lot) I am white and Puerto Rican mixed. This contest, with girls twice my age, were, uh, darker than me. In fact, I was the lightest person in the auditorium. But you know what? I threw it down. To Motown Philly, in those squeaky high tops and dance tights and leotard, alone. Got a standing "O" and 2nd place.
Still looking for the point? Me too.
Back to the contest. The results are revealed on March 31st. Seven finalists and I may or may not be one. It's hard not to get my hopes up, coming so close to another second place victory. Had I not believed in myself to compete at age nine, in a totally unfamiliar place, I never would have made it out alive. But I did believe.
After receiving a rejection from someone I'd hoped to have a long term relationship with, (taketh away), the gods shined down one more time (giveth).
My novel beginning, 9:59 REWIND, is one of five examples YALitChat's Georgia McBride used when describing why/how she picked semi-finalists.
What she says of 9:59 REWIND...
"Gut-wrenching, life-changing, you-know-it-when-you-see-it kind of a book."
To read the entire post, GO HERE.
I mean, WOWEE-WOW. Never saw that coming! I've been holding a trickle of pee the length of this post because I'm THAT excited. "But you haven't won anything, Candyland," you might say. Oh yes I have. The recognition that I'm doing something right. All those doubts eating my brain, all the times the little voices tell me to quit, all the freaking rejections, can all SUCK IT. Oh wait. That's not what a good sport says. What I mean is, I'm proud of myself, and I've only said that a handful of times in my life:
-When I got that 2nd place trophy that broke as soon as I got home
-When I got a record deal (it was crap and got me nowhere, but still)
-When I had my baby girl
-When I lost my pregnancy weight (and then gained it back and lost part of it and gained it...)
-When I saw Georgia's post
What I'm trying to spit out, people, is believe in yourself. If you don't, no one will. Now go enter a Boys and Girls Club dance contest and post your results.
Oh, and one more question. What have you doubted, about yourself? How do you overcome the little voice that says you can't?
Okay, seriously.
After an amazing interview with loads of new faces dropping in, I had a bit of a mishap. I was so giddy blogging away, smiling so much my face hurt, ignoring the carpal tunnel tightening my grip, I forgot about something. A query. To a really amazing agent. My dream agent, actually. And guess what happened? Can you guess? Can you?
She rejected me.
It was a personal note, nice, but still. Giddiness went sour, smile faded but face still sore, and the carpal tunnel has officially taken my right hand hostage. This post is being typed with my left hand and is taking FOREVER. So if there's grammatical errors, punctuation, clarity, uh sorry.
So anyway, after a wonderful day, I started really doubting my abilities. Again. Oh self-doubt, why do I loathe thee? Better yet, why do I succumb to you? You're not hot, you don't treat me well and you're broke.
I think life has giveth and a taketh aways. Like this:
Had coffee. Got a stomach ache. Great blog/new followers. Query rejection by number one on my list. Had Taco Bell. Had emergency bathroom break. Felt like a fatty trying on outfits for Saturday's reception in Chicago (btw congrats TJ and Jill). Got home to super crazy mood lifter which leads me to my point....
I posted awhile back about Sourcebooks/Teenfire Writing Contest, in which I became a semi-finalist. It was crazy exciting because I've seriously never gotten close to winning anything except a Boyz II Men dance contest. And that was only 2nd place. If you think I'm joking, read on.
It was at the Boys and Girls Club, in uh, not the best neighborhood. I was nine and alone. Mom dropped me off in the hood, wearing my dance tights and leotard with high tops. I was too cool for school. Let me first say, (after I've already said a lot) I am white and Puerto Rican mixed. This contest, with girls twice my age, were, uh, darker than me. In fact, I was the lightest person in the auditorium. But you know what? I threw it down. To Motown Philly, in those squeaky high tops and dance tights and leotard, alone. Got a standing "O" and 2nd place.
Still looking for the point? Me too.
Back to the contest. The results are revealed on March 31st. Seven finalists and I may or may not be one. It's hard not to get my hopes up, coming so close to another second place victory. Had I not believed in myself to compete at age nine, in a totally unfamiliar place, I never would have made it out alive. But I did believe.
After receiving a rejection from someone I'd hoped to have a long term relationship with, (taketh away), the gods shined down one more time (giveth).
My novel beginning, 9:59 REWIND, is one of five examples YALitChat's Georgia McBride used when describing why/how she picked semi-finalists.
What she says of 9:59 REWIND...
"Gut-wrenching, life-changing, you-know-it-when-you-see-it kind of a book."
To read the entire post, GO HERE.
I mean, WOWEE-WOW. Never saw that coming! I've been holding a trickle of pee the length of this post because I'm THAT excited. "But you haven't won anything, Candyland," you might say. Oh yes I have. The recognition that I'm doing something right. All those doubts eating my brain, all the times the little voices tell me to quit, all the freaking rejections, can all SUCK IT. Oh wait. That's not what a good sport says. What I mean is, I'm proud of myself, and I've only said that a handful of times in my life:
-When I got that 2nd place trophy that broke as soon as I got home
-When I got a record deal (it was crap and got me nowhere, but still)
-When I had my baby girl
-When I lost my pregnancy weight (and then gained it back and lost part of it and gained it...)
-When I saw Georgia's post
What I'm trying to spit out, people, is believe in yourself. If you don't, no one will. Now go enter a Boys and Girls Club dance contest and post your results.
Oh, and one more question. What have you doubted, about yourself? How do you overcome the little voice that says you can't?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Super-Freaking Fantastic YA author, Elana Johnson, EXPOSED (in a totally clothed kind of way)
You've seen her around. She's everywhere. In your dreams, you could sense her dangling over your computer, stamping her profile picture on every blog, comment section, writer's forum and networking site.
If you aren't familiar with the amazing Elana Johnson, take a minute. Stare at her picture. Tell her you love her. Stroke your computer screen and promise her the world.
I decided Elana's 900+ Followers weren't enough. I thought she could use the one or two of mine who haven't yet discovered her knack for this thing we call writing. She was cool enough to humor me, after I purchased From the Query to the Call on her site. Let me first say, had I not become new online buds with her, I'd still endorse the holy hell out of this ebook. It's fabu. Yeah, I said it.
If you're like me, your query is a nasty, foul mouthed sonofabitch that wants to see you suffer. Elana's ebook is like an awakening. A knock upside the head, of sorts. I actually had a bit of an ephiphany and re-wrote my query in ten minutes. I don't know if it's suckier or less sucky, but regardless, her ebook will spark your brain cells into action.
Now onto the, ahem, insanely talented Elana. Ms. Johnson, if you're nasty.
How long have you been writing professionally? What did you first start out with?
Professionally? Ha! Surely you jest.
No, but, I started writing just after Thanksgiving, 2007. I started with a YA urban fantasy that I swear I’m going to rewrite into a YA historical fantasy in the vein of Prophecy (Zink). One day, my feathered friends. One day.
I’ve always bled YA. And I always will. I write fantasy, science fiction, dystopian, paranormal and even a little contemporary. I love it all.
What are you currently working on?
I’m currently writing a companion novel to the novel I have on submission. YA dystopian in the vein of The Hunger Games, The Giver, and Uglies. Try to wrap your head around that! Ha!
You're current novel, on submission, landed you supercool agent, Michelle Andelman, of Lynn C. Franklin Associates, Ltd. Did you follow your own advice, as in From the Query to the Call, when querying her?
Dude, I have the best story about how Michelle and I hooked up. But I won’t tell it here. I probably won’t even tell it when I’m dead.
But I absolutely followed my own advice. The research. The killer query. Sending the subs. The follow-up emails. The phone calls. Gah. The endless phone calls before representation was offered. In total, I had 5 (not only with Michelle) before I heard the magic words “I can now offer representation.”
Speaking of, how did From the Query to the Call come about?
Well, I was blogging for the QueryTracker blog, and giving a lot of advice about writing a killer query letter. I also frequent a few forums and noticed that people’s letters were, uh, less than stellar. And they all had questions about submitting and talking to agents and stuff.
So it just sort of came out of my time spent online, seeing a need, and writing a (hopefully) fun book that is (hopefully) uber-helpful.
What, in your opinion, are the key elements of a killer query?
-Hook
-Conflict
-Consequence
And on the flip side, what do you think prevents a query from being totally ninja?
-Too many words. So many people stuff their query with the unnecessary.
-Not stating the consequence. This is absent a lot and I’m left thinking, “Yeah, so? Why do I care?” And in publishing that = rejection.
In From the Query to the Call, there are reminders at the end of each topic with links, exercises and things to remember, which is great because I sometimes forget what I just read. There's one test in particular I LOVE. To take the first sentence of your blurb and combine with the last to see if it fits (it should). Should all queries, in theory, make sense this way? If they don't, what are the potential problems in the way?
In theory, yes. In practice, not all do. But it’s a good trial to see if you can sum your book up concisely. I mean, read the short sentences on Publisher’s Marketplace deals. Talk about concise! When people ask you what your book is about, they want one sentence. So give ‘em two, the first and the last.
Potential problems: Having an extra character in the last sentence because s/he is part of the consequence, but not the hook. I see that a lot. Not having a consequence also derails this two-sentence pitch.
Near the end of From the Query to the Call, you talk a lot about fielding "the call," with other authors. First of all, green with envy, second, what are the three biggest things a writer should do if they get..."the call?"
-Dude, chillax. Then go boy scout and Be Prepared.
-Be yourself. I mean, who else would you want to be?
-Practice with a friend before the real thing
I've also read you kind of, what's the word, stalked your agent before submitting. Okay, maybe not stalked, but uh, garnered interest. How much info do you think a writer needs on an agent before they query? What in particular SHOULD they know about the agent?
I think an author should know as much as they can before they query, while they query and after the agent requests.
-You should know what books that agent has sold. Have you read those books? Are the styles the same? People have taste in books. Your agent has to want to devour your book like a plate of bacon. So check out their list.
-You should know who your agent has sold to. This speaks to their contacts.
-You should know who your agent’s other clients are. You might even contact one or two of them.
-You can easily get a feel for the agent’s personality from their blog or website, twitter or facebook or other social networking site. Does it match yours? Look into it.
-Okay, one more: Be unique. Be yourself. People will come. (Ooh, that sounds so Field of Dreams!)
As a writer, yourself, what advice would you give to someone about to throw in the towel?
As they say in Galaxy Quest: “Never give up! Never surrender!”
Seriously, don’t. It took me 8 months of querying on a second project before I got an agent. I’ve written 12 books. 10 of them suck. They’re practice novels. So don’t give up.
You wear many, many hats other than phenomenal writer. Blogger. Query Tracker. Interviewee. How do you juggle it all?
Um…I’m not sure I do. Balls get dropped daily. I think the key, for me, is realizing which balls to pick up again, and which ones to leave on the floor.
Eventually, I’ll get back to those discarded balls, but you gotta have priorities and do those things first. It also helps that I don’t work much, have two independent kids and a husband who works long hours. I’m typing this at 5:40 PM without a soul in sight. The house is quiet. So I just do what I can, when I can.
Speaking of hats, you have almost 1,000 loyal followers on your blog. That's freaking insane. What's the secret?
I have so many secrets for this. I’m slowly divulging some of them this week and in a couple more weeks, I’ll tell all. But really? The biggest one? Give as much as you get.
Any must reads on your shelf?
Dude, so many. You want a list?
Candor by Pam Bachorz
Uglies (and anything else) by Scott Westerfeld
Graceling and Fire by Kristin Cashore
Skin Hunger (my all-time fave) by Kathleen Duey
I could go on and on. I keep track of the books I read on my Wicked Awesome Bloggers list (http://elanajohnson2.blogspot.com). 20 this year so far!
What about books you're chomping at the bit to read?
Crash Into Me by Albert Borris
Pure by Terra Elan McVoy
The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney
The DUFF by Kody Keplinger
I mean, I could go on and on here too…
Last chance. One important thing every query should have.
Personality.
For more info on this totally kick-ass YA author, visit her site, become a follower, don't forget about me.
http://elanajohnson.blogspot.com/
If you aren't familiar with the amazing Elana Johnson, take a minute. Stare at her picture. Tell her you love her. Stroke your computer screen and promise her the world.
I decided Elana's 900+ Followers weren't enough. I thought she could use the one or two of mine who haven't yet discovered her knack for this thing we call writing. She was cool enough to humor me, after I purchased From the Query to the Call on her site. Let me first say, had I not become new online buds with her, I'd still endorse the holy hell out of this ebook. It's fabu. Yeah, I said it.
If you're like me, your query is a nasty, foul mouthed sonofabitch that wants to see you suffer. Elana's ebook is like an awakening. A knock upside the head, of sorts. I actually had a bit of an ephiphany and re-wrote my query in ten minutes. I don't know if it's suckier or less sucky, but regardless, her ebook will spark your brain cells into action.
Now onto the, ahem, insanely talented Elana. Ms. Johnson, if you're nasty.
How long have you been writing professionally? What did you first start out with?
Professionally? Ha! Surely you jest.
No, but, I started writing just after Thanksgiving, 2007. I started with a YA urban fantasy that I swear I’m going to rewrite into a YA historical fantasy in the vein of Prophecy (Zink). One day, my feathered friends. One day.
I’ve always bled YA. And I always will. I write fantasy, science fiction, dystopian, paranormal and even a little contemporary. I love it all.
What are you currently working on?
I’m currently writing a companion novel to the novel I have on submission. YA dystopian in the vein of The Hunger Games, The Giver, and Uglies. Try to wrap your head around that! Ha!
You're current novel, on submission, landed you supercool agent, Michelle Andelman, of Lynn C. Franklin Associates, Ltd. Did you follow your own advice, as in From the Query to the Call, when querying her?
Dude, I have the best story about how Michelle and I hooked up. But I won’t tell it here. I probably won’t even tell it when I’m dead.
But I absolutely followed my own advice. The research. The killer query. Sending the subs. The follow-up emails. The phone calls. Gah. The endless phone calls before representation was offered. In total, I had 5 (not only with Michelle) before I heard the magic words “I can now offer representation.”
Speaking of, how did From the Query to the Call come about?
Well, I was blogging for the QueryTracker blog, and giving a lot of advice about writing a killer query letter. I also frequent a few forums and noticed that people’s letters were, uh, less than stellar. And they all had questions about submitting and talking to agents and stuff.
So it just sort of came out of my time spent online, seeing a need, and writing a (hopefully) fun book that is (hopefully) uber-helpful.
What, in your opinion, are the key elements of a killer query?
-Hook
-Conflict
-Consequence
And on the flip side, what do you think prevents a query from being totally ninja?
-Too many words. So many people stuff their query with the unnecessary.
-Not stating the consequence. This is absent a lot and I’m left thinking, “Yeah, so? Why do I care?” And in publishing that = rejection.
In From the Query to the Call, there are reminders at the end of each topic with links, exercises and things to remember, which is great because I sometimes forget what I just read. There's one test in particular I LOVE. To take the first sentence of your blurb and combine with the last to see if it fits (it should). Should all queries, in theory, make sense this way? If they don't, what are the potential problems in the way?
In theory, yes. In practice, not all do. But it’s a good trial to see if you can sum your book up concisely. I mean, read the short sentences on Publisher’s Marketplace deals. Talk about concise! When people ask you what your book is about, they want one sentence. So give ‘em two, the first and the last.
Potential problems: Having an extra character in the last sentence because s/he is part of the consequence, but not the hook. I see that a lot. Not having a consequence also derails this two-sentence pitch.
Near the end of From the Query to the Call, you talk a lot about fielding "the call," with other authors. First of all, green with envy, second, what are the three biggest things a writer should do if they get..."the call?"
-Dude, chillax. Then go boy scout and Be Prepared.
-Be yourself. I mean, who else would you want to be?
-Practice with a friend before the real thing
I've also read you kind of, what's the word, stalked your agent before submitting. Okay, maybe not stalked, but uh, garnered interest. How much info do you think a writer needs on an agent before they query? What in particular SHOULD they know about the agent?
I think an author should know as much as they can before they query, while they query and after the agent requests.
-You should know what books that agent has sold. Have you read those books? Are the styles the same? People have taste in books. Your agent has to want to devour your book like a plate of bacon. So check out their list.
-You should know who your agent has sold to. This speaks to their contacts.
-You should know who your agent’s other clients are. You might even contact one or two of them.
-You can easily get a feel for the agent’s personality from their blog or website, twitter or facebook or other social networking site. Does it match yours? Look into it.
-Okay, one more: Be unique. Be yourself. People will come. (Ooh, that sounds so Field of Dreams!)
As a writer, yourself, what advice would you give to someone about to throw in the towel?
As they say in Galaxy Quest: “Never give up! Never surrender!”
Seriously, don’t. It took me 8 months of querying on a second project before I got an agent. I’ve written 12 books. 10 of them suck. They’re practice novels. So don’t give up.
You wear many, many hats other than phenomenal writer. Blogger. Query Tracker. Interviewee. How do you juggle it all?
Um…I’m not sure I do. Balls get dropped daily. I think the key, for me, is realizing which balls to pick up again, and which ones to leave on the floor.
Eventually, I’ll get back to those discarded balls, but you gotta have priorities and do those things first. It also helps that I don’t work much, have two independent kids and a husband who works long hours. I’m typing this at 5:40 PM without a soul in sight. The house is quiet. So I just do what I can, when I can.
Speaking of hats, you have almost 1,000 loyal followers on your blog. That's freaking insane. What's the secret?
I have so many secrets for this. I’m slowly divulging some of them this week and in a couple more weeks, I’ll tell all. But really? The biggest one? Give as much as you get.
Any must reads on your shelf?
Dude, so many. You want a list?
Candor by Pam Bachorz
Uglies (and anything else) by Scott Westerfeld
Graceling and Fire by Kristin Cashore
Skin Hunger (my all-time fave) by Kathleen Duey
I could go on and on. I keep track of the books I read on my Wicked Awesome Bloggers list (http://elanajohnson2.blogspot.com). 20 this year so far!
What about books you're chomping at the bit to read?
Crash Into Me by Albert Borris
Pure by Terra Elan McVoy
The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney
The DUFF by Kody Keplinger
I mean, I could go on and on here too…
Last chance. One important thing every query should have.
Personality.
For more info on this totally kick-ass YA author, visit her site, become a follower, don't forget about me.
http://elanajohnson.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Not Agent Oso, but still Oso special
Mission:
To obtain at least one agented call in the month of April
3 Steps to complete mission:
Submit an anti-suckage query with superb writing excerpt to entice and delight
Once foot is in door, do everything possible not to stick it in mouth
Practice midnight meditations channeling said agent's subconscious so they know how crazy dedicated I am
Consequences of a mission not complete:
WWW humiliation
Said agent may wonder why he/she is dreaming of me, saying my name all the time
Carpal tunnel (eh, I get it anyway)
A fine of. One. Million. Dollars. Mwuahaha.
Victory shall be mine. Oh yes. Oh, and come back soon for my super secret amazingly sweet interview with a super secret amazingly sweet new blog buddy. Shhh....
To obtain at least one agented call in the month of April
3 Steps to complete mission:
Submit an anti-suckage query with superb writing excerpt to entice and delight
Once foot is in door, do everything possible not to stick it in mouth
Practice midnight meditations channeling said agent's subconscious so they know how crazy dedicated I am
Consequences of a mission not complete:
WWW humiliation
Said agent may wonder why he/she is dreaming of me, saying my name all the time
Carpal tunnel (eh, I get it anyway)
A fine of. One. Million. Dollars. Mwuahaha.
Victory shall be mine. Oh yes. Oh, and come back soon for my super secret amazingly sweet interview with a super secret amazingly sweet new blog buddy. Shhh....
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Always a Jester, never a Prom Queen
Disclaimer: This is meant for satirical purposes so don't take every word as is. Laugh. Like you've never laughed before. With me, not at me.
Trying to break through to the other side is painful. From unknown to omg-it's-HER, is the dream. But I'm realizing, it's all just another contest. To be...popular. Ugh.
*SIGH*
As with everything, calling yourself a writer puts you in a group of others who also write. But there are different levels. Like back in high school. Everyone liked me. I was kind-of alright. But I was in my OWN group. Lived by my OWN rules, with few real friends. The Shinys, (cool kids), talked to me, smiled, even, but we never hung out. I wasn't shiny enough.
Life is the same way. In work, school, friendship circles, writing, they all have cliques. They all have a magic door where only certain Shiny's get a key. Just starting out, it's damn near impossible to earn a key from a Shiny. I'm a nobody. And I guess I don't blame them. It takes time. One must be persistent in gaining a Shiny's trust. Don't scare them. Don't stare too long or hug too tight. They're fickle, magnificent creatures.
I can't say it enough: Whoring your profile picture and commenting on every blog as often as possible is the best way to start. Friendships develop. Talk of hotheads and beta readings ensue, (thanks MeganRebekah-you ROCK). It's a long journey to Prom Queen. You have to prove yourself, your writing, your personality, your super-awesome, (some call it lame), sprinkler move on the dance floor.
MAKE YOURSELF SHINY.
Momma wants a sash and tiara. So let me ask, aside from "Spreading Thy Seed," by means of blogging, what have you done/will you do to promote yourself?
PS: A HUGE thank you to everyone who has gone out of their way to read/comment on/follow my blog. You are Shinier than any Shiny I've ever met. I promise never to become so jaded, I'd forget who reached out their hands to the new girl. To everyone else, I'm a persistent little biotch and YOU, and YOU, and YOU...YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME...
Trying to break through to the other side is painful. From unknown to omg-it's-HER, is the dream. But I'm realizing, it's all just another contest. To be...popular. Ugh.
*SIGH*
As with everything, calling yourself a writer puts you in a group of others who also write. But there are different levels. Like back in high school. Everyone liked me. I was kind-of alright. But I was in my OWN group. Lived by my OWN rules, with few real friends. The Shinys, (cool kids), talked to me, smiled, even, but we never hung out. I wasn't shiny enough.
Life is the same way. In work, school, friendship circles, writing, they all have cliques. They all have a magic door where only certain Shiny's get a key. Just starting out, it's damn near impossible to earn a key from a Shiny. I'm a nobody. And I guess I don't blame them. It takes time. One must be persistent in gaining a Shiny's trust. Don't scare them. Don't stare too long or hug too tight. They're fickle, magnificent creatures.
I can't say it enough: Whoring your profile picture and commenting on every blog as often as possible is the best way to start. Friendships develop. Talk of hotheads and beta readings ensue, (thanks MeganRebekah-you ROCK). It's a long journey to Prom Queen. You have to prove yourself, your writing, your personality, your super-awesome, (some call it lame), sprinkler move on the dance floor.
MAKE YOURSELF SHINY.
Momma wants a sash and tiara. So let me ask, aside from "Spreading Thy Seed," by means of blogging, what have you done/will you do to promote yourself?
PS: A HUGE thank you to everyone who has gone out of their way to read/comment on/follow my blog. You are Shinier than any Shiny I've ever met. I promise never to become so jaded, I'd forget who reached out their hands to the new girl. To everyone else, I'm a persistent little biotch and YOU, and YOU, and YOU...YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Spread thy seed. Often.
The secret to success is often measured by...how many seeds one plants.
Fame, fortune, respect, they don't just appear. You have to earn them. Want the shortcut version?
-If it's for you, create a blog. It's not for everyone and if you suck or it makes you hate life, don't do it.
-If you have said blog, you have to caress it, love it, nurture it. Don't just adopt it then leave it in its pen all day.
-Having said that, post topics that are relevant to what you're trying to accomplish. If you're an aspiring writer but you post about your daughter all the time...wait...(she says checking backlog)
-Find more of your kind. You know, the others who ramble on about the same thing you do, but in a different way. They are your kin. Treat them well and learn from them.
-Plant a seed or two or eighty. Comment often on the blogs you find. Let others become familiar with your profile picture and the way you comment. They just might give in to their curiosity to peek at your page. And for that, you give them candy.
-Be consistent. Like Tiger Woods-with-his-women consistent. Don't let your new following down. If they come to seek your wisdom then by golly-give it to them!
-Outside of the blog realm, find your buttons. Eww not those. The Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. buttons. Join, link up with your new homies. Keep spreading.
-Be super nice. No one likes an a-hole.
-Practice. Not everyone can be a Carrie, Natalie, Elana or Kiersten over night. It takes time. Lots and lots of time. And comedy. They all have that.
-Join online critique groups. I've said it before, I'll say it again, and again. YALitChat, TeenFire and every place like them helps whip one's butt into fighting shape. You make friends, allies, and a beautiful ms in the process. What's not to love about that?
Now get out there, my little flowers. Those seeds won't spread themselves.
Fame, fortune, respect, they don't just appear. You have to earn them. Want the shortcut version?
-If it's for you, create a blog. It's not for everyone and if you suck or it makes you hate life, don't do it.
-If you have said blog, you have to caress it, love it, nurture it. Don't just adopt it then leave it in its pen all day.
-Having said that, post topics that are relevant to what you're trying to accomplish. If you're an aspiring writer but you post about your daughter all the time...wait...(she says checking backlog)
-Find more of your kind. You know, the others who ramble on about the same thing you do, but in a different way. They are your kin. Treat them well and learn from them.
-Plant a seed or two or eighty. Comment often on the blogs you find. Let others become familiar with your profile picture and the way you comment. They just might give in to their curiosity to peek at your page. And for that, you give them candy.
-Be consistent. Like Tiger Woods-with-his-women consistent. Don't let your new following down. If they come to seek your wisdom then by golly-give it to them!
-Outside of the blog realm, find your buttons. Eww not those. The Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. buttons. Join, link up with your new homies. Keep spreading.
-Be super nice. No one likes an a-hole.
-Practice. Not everyone can be a Carrie, Natalie, Elana or Kiersten over night. It takes time. Lots and lots of time. And comedy. They all have that.
-Join online critique groups. I've said it before, I'll say it again, and again. YALitChat, TeenFire and every place like them helps whip one's butt into fighting shape. You make friends, allies, and a beautiful ms in the process. What's not to love about that?
Now get out there, my little flowers. Those seeds won't spread themselves.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Never Underestimate a chihuahua, my friends
The bet: For me to drink an entire pitcher of beer without
a) up-chucking
b) falling over
c) passing out
d) dying
The reward: My beer paid for AND the verbal trophy of hearing my best dude tell me he was...wait for it...wait...WRONG.
Let me preface this scenario by stating that I am referred to pretty widely as the "One-beer-queer," (take no offense to this term, please), so to overcome this feat of mythical proportions, I was stepping over into the dark side. Full of pro, beer-pong champ, whiskey downin', good old-fashioned drunks.
The verdict? I freakin blasted those fools. Two hours in and my pitcher was empty and I won. Take those doubts and suck it, my doubting friends.
The point? Take this attitude and USE IT. Use it to write. To conquer the world. To believe in yourself. To prove EVERYONE wrong about you. Tap into your inner chihuahua and show everyone how tough you really are.
a) up-chucking
b) falling over
c) passing out
d) dying
The reward: My beer paid for AND the verbal trophy of hearing my best dude tell me he was...wait for it...wait...WRONG.
Let me preface this scenario by stating that I am referred to pretty widely as the "One-beer-queer," (take no offense to this term, please), so to overcome this feat of mythical proportions, I was stepping over into the dark side. Full of pro, beer-pong champ, whiskey downin', good old-fashioned drunks.
The verdict? I freakin blasted those fools. Two hours in and my pitcher was empty and I won. Take those doubts and suck it, my doubting friends.
The point? Take this attitude and USE IT. Use it to write. To conquer the world. To believe in yourself. To prove EVERYONE wrong about you. Tap into your inner chihuahua and show everyone how tough you really are.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Poetic Tragedy: Don't be one
Those of you who know me, like really really know me, are privy to the fact that I'm kind of into, (okay consumed), with The Used. Not familiar? Don't sweat it. They're only my favorite band, ever, (aside from Aerosmtih, who practically helped raise me). More so, lead singer, Bert McCracken is the male, mouthier, dirtier, grittier version of yours truly,(at least I like to tell myself that).
I've had some pretty random run-ins with so-called stars of rock in my years of musicianhood and socialting, (yep those are words now). I danced on stage with Afroman. Paid no attention to Breaking Benjamin singer, Ben Burnley, as he flicked cigarette ash into the trashcan next to the merch table I was working. Talked to The Donnas about my demo. Threw a paper airplane at Puddle of Mudd lead singer Wes Scantlin then told him to his face he was hot. Ate at IHOP with Flyleaf in the wee hours after a show. I could go on with the excessive name-dropping that no one cares about, but nothing was as important as meeting Bert. Mainly because I was a total douche and now, if we ever meet again, he'll always remember and probably cringe at the thought of me. *sigh*
But I digress.
You may wonder what any of this has to do with anything. You may furrow your brows and frown. You may stir peanuts in your peanut butter instead of buying the crunchy kind. The reason I love Bert Mccracken isn't because he so graciously accepted my douche-iness. He writes really compelling lyrics that resonate, and get me in the gut. I feel the words when he sings, and screams, them. That's the way all writing should be.
I want to heed a warning. To all of you dreamers out there, on Bert's behalf. Keep your dreams alive. Nourish and cultivate them as you would any other thing that matters. Don't get lost in the "what-if's." Don't lose sight of the big picture, but always stay present through the little moments in between. I leave you with the beginning words to Poetic Tragedy, (which is on my LaLa player at the bottom of the page), and I urge you, even if it doesn't grab you the way it does me, NEVER GIVE UP.
I've had some pretty random run-ins with so-called stars of rock in my years of musicianhood and socialting, (yep those are words now). I danced on stage with Afroman. Paid no attention to Breaking Benjamin singer, Ben Burnley, as he flicked cigarette ash into the trashcan next to the merch table I was working. Talked to The Donnas about my demo. Threw a paper airplane at Puddle of Mudd lead singer Wes Scantlin then told him to his face he was hot. Ate at IHOP with Flyleaf in the wee hours after a show. I could go on with the excessive name-dropping that no one cares about, but nothing was as important as meeting Bert. Mainly because I was a total douche and now, if we ever meet again, he'll always remember and probably cringe at the thought of me. *sigh*
But I digress.
You may wonder what any of this has to do with anything. You may furrow your brows and frown. You may stir peanuts in your peanut butter instead of buying the crunchy kind. The reason I love Bert Mccracken isn't because he so graciously accepted my douche-iness. He writes really compelling lyrics that resonate, and get me in the gut. I feel the words when he sings, and screams, them. That's the way all writing should be.
I want to heed a warning. To all of you dreamers out there, on Bert's behalf. Keep your dreams alive. Nourish and cultivate them as you would any other thing that matters. Don't get lost in the "what-if's." Don't lose sight of the big picture, but always stay present through the little moments in between. I leave you with the beginning words to Poetic Tragedy, (which is on my LaLa player at the bottom of the page), and I urge you, even if it doesn't grab you the way it does me, NEVER GIVE UP.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wanted: Part Time Help. Requirements: Must be AWESOME
The time has come, my dear saplings. I'm looking for TWO experienced betas to read my finished ms. I will be finishing edits over the next three-four days and would really like it to be nestled in caring hands by this Sunday to make notes and tell me what's missing/wrong/awesome/smelly. Wait...
My first pages have been through the gamut over on YALitChat's First Five and have also held spot numero dos on TeenFire's writing forum since it started over a moth ago. However, I'm ready for the Big Lebowski. The golden compass. The green lantern. Wait...
I'm looking for the following in my beta: Efficient, timely, honest, thoughtful, insightful, funny. I like to laugh. A lot.
If you think you're the right candidate for the job, or you know someone who is, email me at:
candace ganger [at] yahoo dot com
Pass this post on. Momma needs a shiny ms. Oh and because you're awesome, I've decided to give you a peek at the real Candyland. Yes, you're that special.
Don't say I never gave you anything.
Okay, so I still have a sense of mystery to maintain.
My first pages have been through the gamut over on YALitChat's First Five and have also held spot numero dos on TeenFire's writing forum since it started over a moth ago. However, I'm ready for the Big Lebowski. The golden compass. The green lantern. Wait...
I'm looking for the following in my beta: Efficient, timely, honest, thoughtful, insightful, funny. I like to laugh. A lot.
If you think you're the right candidate for the job, or you know someone who is, email me at:
candace ganger [at] yahoo dot com
Pass this post on. Momma needs a shiny ms. Oh and because you're awesome, I've decided to give you a peek at the real Candyland. Yes, you're that special.
Don't say I never gave you anything.
 |
| Photo Cred: Nicole Simmons Andres |
Monday, March 8, 2010
Ask yourself, WWCLD?
Question: If you had to choose between: a)being a writer who loses the hand you write with or b)being a runner who loses a leg which won you the gold... which would you choose?"
Better yet, just ask yourself, "What Would Candyland Do?" Personally, I'd keep my arm. I'm not sure how I'd clip my toenails or shave delicate areas (sorry) with only one upper limb. If you're scratching your head on the decision, take a look at Moon Rat's carefully constructed answer, (thesis, really), over on Editorial Ass.
You can find the HOT debate by clicking HERE.
Also, to prevent any loss of limb, check out this book:
Better yet, just ask yourself, "What Would Candyland Do?" Personally, I'd keep my arm. I'm not sure how I'd clip my toenails or shave delicate areas (sorry) with only one upper limb. If you're scratching your head on the decision, take a look at Moon Rat's carefully constructed answer, (thesis, really), over on Editorial Ass.
You can find the HOT debate by clicking HERE.
Also, to prevent any loss of limb, check out this book:
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