Monday, April 19, 2010

GUTS, baby: JUST DO IT

This weekend, I saw my (pretend) lover from another mother, the king of all things awesome, my pretend BFF, the one, the only RoBERT McCracken, with The Used. And let me tell you something, it was beautiful. I mentioned in an earlier post what a d-bag I was three years ago... *shudders*
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3 Years ago...
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And again...
For those of you not yet familiar, my current darling, 9:59 REWIND, talks of do-overs and rewind buttons. If one had come my way three years ago, needless to say, Bert and I would now be married with seven kids and he'd probably already have left me for another eager groupie. Wait...not the analogy I was going for. 

Anyway. While listening to one of three opening bands, I searched the merch table, debating whether or not to purchase the meet-n-greet pass. For $15 I could re-do the awful first encounter, hoping he wouldn't remember the yuppie from the weird post Saint Patty's day tour stop. My best dude threw $20 in my face, so I went for it, (not to say I'd do anything for cash...). The knots in my stomach churned, the voices in my head went all kinds of crazy. The concert was amazing, of course, and the big reveal, on its way.

I stood in line, alone, for close to an hour, making my way closer and closer to the beautiful man and his minions. But something funny happened. I took a breath and walked over, and totally redeemed myself.

Bert: Hi.
Me: Hi, how are you? *smiles obnoxiously* (Great opener if I say so myself)

Bert: I'm good. How are you?*smiles* (He's obviously brilliant)
Me: Good.

*Pause*

Me: I actually met you three years ago in Dayton.
Bert: Yeah, I remember (he says with a totally straight face, looking into my soul).

Me: What? (about to pee) You do not!
Bert: Yeah, actually I do. You have one of those memorable faces. *smiles*

*Pause for staring/finding anti d-bag words*

Me: I didn't have glasses then *lifts glasses off face*
Bert: I know! I said I remember you! *still smiling*

Me: Well, I was a d-bag then, so this is like, my do-over.
Bert: *Shakes head no* So this is your moment to shine?

Me: I hope so. Am I shining yet?
Bert: Yeah, I think you are *smiles*

*Pause for more staring because, to me, he's so pretty*

Bert: Okay, now spread 'em wide. 
Me: *Eyes burst open, mouth gapes, heart stops*

Bert: Your purse. Spread your fingers on the purse. So I can sign. *smiles*
Me: Still gaping*

Bert: Seriously. I need you to spread your fingers.
Me: *Laughs flirtatiously, probably flipping hair*

Bert: *Still smiling*
Me: *HUGE sigh and butterflies and heart thumps*
So here we are. *Hearts*

So after all of that, not only did he remember me, but I wasn't the biggest loser I'd thought I was three years later. We internalize more than we should, and as a writer, obsessing over every rejection, query, etc, I'm not doing myself ANY favors. Just let go. Never let fear hold you back. From anything. Listen to your gut and use it with confidence. Believe in yourselves, my sweethearts. Whether it's over a rock star or your novel, take a breath and just do it.

What's holding you back? 
Anything you wish you could do-over? 
And more importantly, who's your "Bert?"


Candyland (and Bert) OUT.

15 comments:

Sheri Larsenッ said...

Bert's all WET!! (*Grinning devilishly*)

What's holding me back? THE STUPID EDITOR IN MY HEAD who tells me I can't do this. I need a set of punching gloves.

What would I have done different? Started this journey ten years ago, but then again like my husband says maybe I wasn't ready back then.

S~

Jaydee Morgan said...

You're too funny! But you're right, we do tend to internalize far too much.

The biggest thing holding me back is probably myself - that nagging self-doubt. I've got to believe more in that I have a good story to tell and that I'm the one to tell it.

LR said...

Haha, that's funny.

If I could press rewind, I'd tell a certain guy in the past where to go! ;) Ah well, it's all fodder for novel character development.

Kasie West said...

Coolest story EVER!!! I literally squealed over how awesome you came off--way to play it cool.

Carolyn V. said...

That is AWESOME! And he remembered you?! Sweet! =)

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

hahaha, love this post. Loved the dialogue (or monologue ;) hehehe.
Hmm let's see ... my Bert would be ... LOL, I don't have one. I've always had a thing for Adalida from Magic Dirt, but not lustfully! Just in awe of her ...

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

sorry, that's 'Adalita', with a 't' :)

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL. Very cute post. I'm not letting anything hold me back. The voice in my head starts up after a rejection but I usually knock her out when she gets annoying. My husband isn't always as supportive as I like but i know he's got a point about me being constantly on the computer so I cut him some slack.

Talli Roland said...

Ah! You must have been dying - how cool he remembered you!

I am the queen of internalisation (if that's a word). I like to obsess about everything; worry about stupid things and re-play endless scenarios in my mind. Cool, eh?

Not so much.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Great story - I loved it! And way to pair it with a powerful message! We really do beat ourselves up too much. :-)

Patti said...

What an awesome story. I'm glad you got your do-over

Jen said...

Awesome story... with an awesome message!!! You rock!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

That was too funny! Great do-over. :D

Tahereh said...

hahahahahAHAHAHAAHA!!

this post LITERALLY made me laugh out loud.

we need to hang out. like, yesterday.

<33333333 you!!

Emily said...

BFF! I love this story! I'm so happy you got to meet him again. You must've made an impression before ;) If only I could have a moment like this with JT...ahhhh lol :)