Monday, August 23, 2010

Learning to let go: "New Medicine for childbirth" is a real thing

Believe it or not, that's actually a phrase that led many to Candyland, according to my stats. Well, that and, "the different parts of Candyland," but I figured talking about my "parts" would be a little weird. Well I guess if you know me, maybe it wouldn't be that weird.

Yesterday I did some internal cleansing. My horoscope implied things in my life, heart and mind will start to die off and be re-born in both the literal and metaphorical senses. So, I rummaged through the closets and dug out old boxes labeled "baby stuff" and spent an hour sorting through every memory of what was October 2006. You may know the incident as (what I refer to) the offspring.

It was bittersweet folding the tiny clothes, inhaling the lingering scents of Dreft, and watching my (almost) four-year-old running her fingers along the sidewalk as I watched through the window. It was more bitter than sweet, really. To know time is moving moving moving and we can't press pause, not even for second, kind of hurts sometimes.

There was an article in the paper about our city's growing homeless rate and the children suffering through it. They don't have toys, because they get stolen and fold-up cribs are crammed against the walls. I know there's times we're a paycheck away from the streets, but were blessed with family and friends who wouldn't let that happen. Some people aren't.

Immediately after reading, I boxed up my baby girl's things for donation. Even though there's always hope for another child, letting go of those things was somehow my way of letting go of September 29th, 2009. To prepare for better things to come. And then I listened to New Medicine, and all was right in the world.

How about you, friends, what do you need to let go of today?

19 comments:

Christina Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christina Lee said...

Wow. We have something in common. I did just that thing through tears last year while listening to my five-year-old play upstairs. Yes, more bitter than sweet. But it felt right to move on. *hugs* to you!

salarsenッ said...

Proud of you. Letting go doesn't ever mean forgetting; it means growth.

I have plenty I need to let go of. Just not ready to blog about it yet; although, I'm close. Thanks C.

Kelly said...

That must have been hard, Candance, but hopefully therapeutic.
We just had a garage sale so lots of old kids/baby stuff was sold and the rest goes to charity. I had two tubs of baby clothes that I saved for my daughter if she has a little girl. I realized it was ridiculous to save that much, so I sold/gave away a tubs worth and just saved one for her. It's hard to let go.
Have fun at the show tomorrow! I wish I could go again! I expect a full report!

Jaydee Morgan said...

I'm somewhere in limbo right now. I'm well past the point of folding up baby clothes but on the cusp of my oldest enjoying his last few (couple) years at home. It will be another transition to let go then.

Lenny said...

hi miss candace! i cant say about letting go of baby clothes but i know how it could make you feel all white inside your heart when you let a lot of that past stuff specially the hurt stuff go. sometimes its not so easy and you gotta get help and talk about it. now im not holdin on to anything and just having fun for my life as much as i can every day. im real glad for you that you could let go of stuff and give it to help kids. you got the best heart ever.
...hugs from lenny

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Wow, sad to let go but a wonderful thing to give to those in need.

What do I need to let go of today? Hmm, I'll have to think about that one.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Wow, sad to let go but a wonderful thing to give to those in need.

What do I need to let go of today? Hmm, I'll have to think about that one.

Lydia Kang said...

Whoa this is a weird post. Were you reading my mind? I have to spend hours today combing through the kidlet's closets to remove all their old clothes for donation. It'll be cleansing, and yet a little sad too.

SM Schmidt said...

I moved back to school yesterday thus enjoying the surreal notion all my world possessions (excluding furniture) fit in the back of a truck. Made me feel scared that picture might become a permanent thing since my friends that graduated last year aren't having luck finding jobs.

Anne said...

<3 you! I'm letting go of some of my unnecessary habits in these upcoming weeks and making room for the things that really matter.

Matthew Rush said...

How crazy is that that Kelly took her son to a show that had New Meds on the side stage and she met BR80? And how awesome? Very, that's how.

Letting go is tough. Tough but powerful therapy in the long run.

aspiring_x said...

good for you! it took a lot, i'm sure, but... good for you!

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I'm glad you passed those baby clothes on to a child who needs them now. It doesn't mean you're letting go of hope, just making room for whatever the future holds.

Patti said...

I'm about to do that with all three of my children. Go through their clothes and donate what they don't wear anymore to charity before we go buy some more back to school stuff.

Natalie said...

It is so hard to see them grow up sometimes. My oldest two will be going to real school (kindergarten and first grade) this year and I get sad every time I think about it. But they have to grow up, and it's a good thing.

I really admire the sacrifice of your baby clothes. I know it seems like a little thing, but I know there are so many memories attached to them.

Jen said...

Wow... way to let go!!! I think that's really neat that you've let go of that and moved on. Very special!!! I don't have children and since I'm so.not.a.pack.rat I don't have anything extra, the minute I'm done with it, it heads to the salvation army and other places for donation :)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Candace I know it had to be a very hard day. I hold on to little things from people I've lost. I'm so proud and in awe of you for being able to take this step and to think of the little ones you'll be helping. You are a wonderful person and we are all blessed because we "know" you.

February Grace said...

Again you prove you are all kinds of awesome.

I warn you it doesn't get easier. Mine is almost fifteen (good grief did I just type that) and already has designs on moving cross country with her dad and step mom in a few years time.

Her room is a time capsule that must be confronted the moment I'm well enough to do it- otherwise I think the dust bunnies will join forces with the stuffed animals in the closet and conquer the kingdom overnight one of these nights (the cat may or may not be depended upon to warn us of the impending uprising...he could be working for them...) I'm not looking forward to it.

But it's another milestone. And you've done an important thing already when you had your 'finding me' moments at the concert. You've remembered you're a woman and not just a mother. That will serve you well as the Offspring gets older- trust me. Our children never belong to us- we're just blessed to be in their company for awhile while they teach us the lessons we're supposed to learn before they go on their own path...and it all goes way too damn fast.

big hugs
bru