Tuesday, October 19, 2010

When whipped cream makes me cry

Yesterday...I cried over whipped cream.

Let me be clear: WHEN I ORDER A CAFE MOCHA, PUT THE F@CKING WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP OR I WILL CUT YOU.

Not really, but the Latina in me wants to rrrreeeaaallll bad. At $1.85/cup, I only want what I'm paying for. I feel a certain sting over the whipped cream debate because I use to work at this particular store and know how the eff it's suppose to be made. WITH WHIPPED CREAM.

*end rant*

It's funny how the smallest thing can mean everything. Especially when it happens at the exact wrong moment. It didn't help I was a walking zombie and literally blacked out in Kohl's. I wandered around the aisles for (what felt like) DAYS. By the time I'd gotten to the oh-so-spiritual hot chocolate+coffee, I wanted all that cream, in my mouth (that was not innuendo...maybe it was...hell if I know anymore).

I've broken the mocha down into what it means, for writers:
So now you see why I want my whipped cream...

Oh, and who's been romancing the fates on my behalf?
Whoever you are, your bribe money is in the mail...

Until tomorrow friends, which coffee stage are you currently drinking? And if you're not drinking coffee, are you enjoying your liquor with or without the whipped cream? Are you hungover (or wired)  from the process?


CANDYLAND+WHIPPED CREAM. OUT.
P.S. Check the I Heart Joy Like BR80: PART TWO Contest page DAILY for new additions including concert tix and coming soon--goods from the inspirer himself, BR80...

22 comments:

Christine Danek said...

You made my morning. Love this. I want the whipped cream too. :)My brain isn't functioning yet so my comment is so non creative. Plus, I have kids asking me 60 million questions at the same time. It's not good.
Nice to have an admirer.
Thanks.

Linda G. said...

Aw, sucks to not get the whipped cream. :(

Let's see, which coffee stage am I? Irish Coffee, maybe? Coffee, a slug of Irish Mist liqueur, and whipped cream on top. But I'm only looking at it, catching a bit of the aroma, and haven't been able to drink it yet. (Translation: I have an agent, but we're still on submission & haven't yet sold.)

Anne said...

I had a bad day yesterday. I had really high highs followed by the lowest of the lows. Basically, I have to start all over. And I just want my whipped cream.

Jen Daiker said...

Now I'm crying over whipped cream! I'm at the bottom of the coffe cup, and now feeling depressed because you pointed it out... thanks a lot. Actually, I'm not sure I'm in the coffee cup at all. Sh*t what's the meaning behind that?

I love whipped cream, and just know that I'll be the entorauge that backs your a** up when you don't get your whipped cream.

PS my search results had Lemur as one of the top ones... strange is it not?

Kelly said...

I'm a chocolate milk, hot cocoa or tea kind of girl.
And maybe I'll add whipped cream today.
I'm still on break from my manuscript. Hopefully next week I can get to it...

Joanna St. James said...

am in the middle right now am hoping for some whipped cream real soon, my search results are of Alexander Skarsgard and Eric Northman

Summer said...

I am the cup. Or perhaps the cardboard sleeve that's supposed to go around the cup, but some chains are too lazy to put on for you, so you burn your hand while you're looking for the sleeve precisely so you don't burn your hand.

Yes. That's me.

Amie B said...

i'm that little bit of curdled milk where the cream meets the coffee. :( so close, but no cigar.

Creepy Query Girl said...

I only used to get whipped cream on my starbucks caramel frappacinos. I like it on hot chocolate too though with just a lil bit o' choco powder on top. But I drink my coffee black with sugar:)

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss candace! i dont mostly drink any coffee but sometimes i sneak some beer. (shhhh dont tell on me) so i guess im in the sneaky stage. ha ha i looooove whip cream on my hot chocolate and on ice cream sundays and on pie so i could see how you could get whacko when you didnt get all you should of got. thats the schizz for sure.
...laughs and hugs from lenny

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

LMAO! This is so full of epic win!

Carolyn V. said...

NO...I'm so sorry about the whipped cream. *weeping* My fav is really hot chocolate with tons of (real) whipped cream. (Yes, I'm a chocolate fan.) =D

Kelly Dexter said...

I SO get this. If they forget the swirly chocolate sauce on top of my whipped cream, I'm sad. If they forget the whipped cream altogether . . . well, I won't even go there.

Matthew Rush said...

Tim accept travelers cheques, or Galleons from Harry Potter.

I'm in the middle, choking down the thickness after it sat on the burner for a few hours. Actually I've been abstaining. I haven't written s4!t on my WIP for days ...

Colene Murphy said...

okay...Whipped Cream is the hot ass on a sexy man. You can't just leave it off! You had every right to be emotional over that.

Hope you're feeling better today!

Jude said...

Yo I totally feel you. I only drink the frappucino for the goddamn whipped cream and caramel swirl!

If getting the agent is the whipped cream, then is the agent's assistant the froth on top of the drink, but below the cream? :D?

Love how you broke it down so clearly ;)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

This is all kinds of Candlyland awesome! Love it! :-)

Kelly Breakey said...

You don't have to thank me for the search results. I just like to get your heart rate pumping or maybe I am just planning to pimp you out to BR80.

As for coffee...can I just say...YUCK and I mean it. That swill will kill. Okay, now I am sitting here laughing because that rhyme rocked righteously. See I got me a theme. I know why you need the whipped cream its so you don't taste the nasty crap under it. Listen, just get the whipped cream but instead of coffee under it go for the BR80 sundae. It comes in one great flavor.

Elana Johnson said...

Great comparison. And yes, it's always the worst at the bottom. *hugs* Hang in there--I don't believe you'll be there for long, if you've ever been at the bottom.

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

I'm still dreaming about the cup :p Can't wait to get ready to order, with dreams of whipped cream to carry me there!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I didn't get my morning coffee until about 4 this afternoon...Sheesh, it's been a long day...and I didn't get any whipped cream. :-(

Shannon said...

Dude,

I overslept by 10 minutes, which made me 10 minutes late all day. Screw the coffee...I'm on the wine now.