Monday, October 25, 2010

When your pants don't fit...

Writing is subjective. So we've all heard, anyway. Along the way, I've learned some things. Some awesome, and some craptastic. In amidst this infinite wisdom I'm about to share, I think it's only fitting I divulge the fact that I've had a strange week. And when I say strange, I mean like WHAT-THE-EFF.

-Not all writers like to read a lot. This is true because I'm one of them. I read things that look good to me, regardless of hype, and I'm also the world's slowest reader. Mainly because I have a life.

-Not all agents are AMAZING. In fact, some of them blow. I've had some run ins over the last few months with the latter. They're not all sugar and spice, though Candyland would never bad mouth anyone (unless you push me too far; then I'll cut you)

-Not everything you write is good. So deflate your ego. On the flip side, not everything you write is bad, either. So pump up the jam.

-Not all bloggers are genuine. It's unfortunate, but true. I've only been blogging since January but I know who's for realz and who's for shows.

-Not all rejections should define you. No matter how hard it is, you HAVE to find a way to keep going. And as much as I want this to be bull, it's true. Even though I need to take my own advice.

-Not everyone will understand your need to write. The outside world usually sucks. They just don't get it. They'll call it a "hobby" or say "it can't be that hard to get a book published." These people should be removed from your Christmas lists.

We all have a different path, on a different journey. But what defines us is what we do with it. There's a reason not everyone gets published and a reason some people make it big and a reason my pants don't fit right (well, I didn't say they all had to be relevant). You have to make a choice.

Tell me friends, on your journey, whatever it may be, what defines you? Is it the amount of accomplishments or the amount of friends? Is it impressing the world, or impressing yourself? Is it squeezing into your [tight] jeans or buying a bigger pair (acceptance)?
Candyland. OUT.
P.S. In case you haven't been to the Candyland Store yet (click the banner at the top)...

34 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

I love when I suprise myself, when I'm able to write a certain number of words a day, I enjoy what I've written (some days are bad) and the friends I've made along the way... I think my happiness defines me.

That being said... I plan to pump up the jam.

Jessica Bell said...

Honey, you really should try small presses to get yourself started. Get your name out there. Show the bigger dudes that your worth your words. Then work your way up. Small presses are not a cop out. They are REAL publishers, just with smaller bibliographies.

Also, what defines me are the people I inspire and the people who inspire me. Without my true friends and blogger buddies and willingness to 'give a little of myself each day' I would be no one.

Anne said...

Hahah I lost some coffee on the "pump up the jam" comment. Awesome.

I love this though. This is exactly how I feel but instead of writing the perfect words to fit, I just didn't blog at all. Go you! Kick some ass.

Melissa Gill said...

Awesome post. Everything you say is so true and so real. I wish I knew what defines me. I don't think I've figured it out yet.

salarsenッ said...

'K, typing up new Christmas list. LOL Yeah, I've learned a ton since February (when I started) too. I think my most valued lesson so far is to go easier on myself and be true to 'ME'. I'll get there, too. My journey is my journey. I can cheer others on if they get there before me. That's okay.

Joanna St. James said...

I think what defines me is if I am able to meet my personal goals, I dont tell anybody what they are I just walk around with an inflated ego when I meet my goal.

Linda G. said...

You know what? I try not to let anything "define" me. I'm just me, who happens to be a writer, a wife, a mother, a friend, a CP, a neighbor, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a niece, and probably a bunch of other things. If I thought too hard about what I "am," I'd go nuts from the crowd that would comprise me. I can't stand crowds. ;)

So, yeah. Just me, please. :)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

OOOh, I like this one!

So many things define me, which I've decided is a good thing. If I only let my writing define who I am, I would be in serious trouble. ;)

Jaydee Morgan said...

What's most important to me is achieving my own goals (not so much ones that others set or have). If I can do that, I'm doing great!

Great post :)

Amie B said...

i don't let people or events define me. unless of course it's a really exciting event! then well, heck ya!

sorry you've had a run in with bad agents. this hasn't been my experience, so i feel lucky.

hang in there! it will get better!

LTM said...

you are filled with infinite wisdom today. No wonder your pants aren't fitting right... :D

I really want to be defined by the number of friends, but I'm afraid I'm so freakin accomplishment oriented, I can't help myself... I go all mole-person.

And my pants are too tight too. WHAT'S the deal??? Too many big bois... ;p

aspiring_x said...

wow. you've got alotta wisdom today!
my pants don't fit right either...

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss candace!

im just lenny!

candylands for realz!!

...hugs from lenny

Dawn said...

So much truth in here. Sigh. Wishing you the most awesome success with the agent of your dreams.

What defines me? Hm. I'd have to say just following the dream. I may never have a sparkling vampire to woo the world, but every day I write is a day I go against the odds (and my mother nagging me to find a real job...)

Linked you a couple times in today's blog. Sorry for being so slow - I'll keep linking all week. xo

Eric W. Trant said...

I define myself by my name: Eric

It means King. So bow.

I like this point you make: Not everything you write is good; not all is bad. That's a great ego check both ways.

- Eric

Colene Murphy said...

Oh no. The mention of you can tell who's fake made me flip into gossip mode. Nope. nope. None of that...unless you just wanna whisper some hints...

Love this post. So honest. Sorry to hear about your blow-y agent encounters. Hope it looks up for you soon! You're such an amazing writer and so darn full or originality, I can't see it NOT working out for you.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ditto what Jen said! Her comment is spot on! :-)

Bekah said...

I don't tell people I write because they think I am weird. Until I have an actualy book, then they'll believe me. No one knows I have a blog- I like it that way. Writing life. Regular life

Kristi Helvig said...

It's hard but I try not to let anything external define me, because that stuff doesn't really matter in the end--much as we might like it to. As far as other bloggers go, it used to bother me when it seemed they weren't really like the persona they 'advertised,' but in the end, they have to live with that. I only have control over staying true to myself.

You clearly speak from the gut, which is the only way to go in my opinion. :)

Kelly Breakey said...

I have not started wading through the crap pool that is query hell. Honestly, I may never get to that point which leads me to what defines me. Being true to me. I like to create. Can be writing, cooking, or building things. Creating makes me happy. It makes me feel productive. I like learning too, so that helps. Well not always. (I used to be a serious weekend warrior until I got kicked out of the club for not working within strict guidelines of what being a weekend warrior really meant. Translated means...hubs said I am not longer allowed to take on new weekend projects.)

I also think you have to be true to you. When I first joined twitter I could not tell the good stuff from the bad. I am learning. And one of the biggest things I have learned is I don't follow people just to follow them or to get people to follow me. I want to really interact with people on these social networks not just talk at them.

I didn't believe in cliques when I was in high school so I am even less inclined to believe in them now, so I find I distance myself from the twitter divas and blogger bitches...you know who you are. That being said, I like the blogs that are real too. Me, I am still finding my voice but my blog stands for me so I try to keep it sounding like me, talking about the things that are important to me and entertaining the masses at the same time. Sometimes that is hit and sometimes that is miss. And sometimes people just don't stop by.

Okay off my soap box now. Promise.

Talli Roland said...

That's a great question. If only I knew! Some days I think I'm happy just writing for my self; the next day I'm green with jealousy because some author I know is on The Times' bestsellers list. Argh! It's a tough one, and writing being so subjective doesn't make it any easier. I think we do need to do it for ourselves and enjoy it.

WizzyTheStick said...

Still struggling to figure out the answer to what defines me:-)

Dianne K. Salerni said...

When my pants don't fit, sometimes I cry. That is a no-win scenario, because it doesn't make my pants fit any better. But I still do it, because sometimes that's just the mood I'm in and all I can manage.

Sometimes, when my pants don't fit, I go out and look for new pants. And not just ones that *fit* but ones that makes my husband say "You look gooood. C'mere!"

That's much more productive. It takes more energy; it takes more guts, and I guess it takes *pumping up the jam."

Some days it's hard to muster that energy, but it's always the better option.

Patti said...

I'm caught between buying new jeans or just wishing to get back into my regular ones.

Everything you said is so true. The saying it's better to have no agent than a bad one, rings true.

Abby Minard said...

Well, your blog is pretty awesome-sauce, and everyone loves you, so you got that going for you ;p (I mean, you have 300-something followers only since Janurary) But seriously, you are so right on your observations!

notesfromnadir said...

For people who don't think it's hard to get a book published, just ask them how their manuscript is doing? Sometimes using the word manuscript is enough to get a vacant stare!

Tracy said...

Excellent post. I especially agree with "Not everything you write is good. So deflate your ego. On the flip side, not everything you write is bad, either. So pump up the jam."

As far as the pants, you should try to find a pair like the had in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Those suckers fit EVERYONE.

Susan Fields said...

I'm not sure what defines me, but I know I write because I'd be miserable if I didn't. And I'm tired of squeezing into too-tight jeans, so now I just out and buy new ones. :)

Nathalie said...

Hmm, what defines me? Getting 78,945 rejections and still flogging the internet airwaves with my query. Finding time to read the 412 books on my TBR list. Knowing I rock, even when I don't. Never giving up and believing I will ALWAYS squeeze my fat a$$ into my skinny jeans!

Lola Sharp said...

What Patti said. *sigh*
I gained weight on vacation earlier this summer...and have not lost it. Now that it's getting cooler and I will need to wear pants, I figured out my pants are quite tight. *pouts* (ass is going on treadmill tomorrow)

In the words of Dory:
Just keep swimming.
Love,
Lola

Kelly Dexter said...

For me it's probably the way I handle both the rejections and the accomplishments. Both can cause people to act like a-holes, and I hope I can keep my feet on some kind of middle ground.

Shannon said...

Sorry I'm so late getting over here today. It's been one of *those* days. :)

I agree with you on all points. Some more than others. You speak in code a lot. Someday I'll get you to reveal the hidden meaning behind some of your statements. Mainly the juicy ones.

As for what defines me it's the amount of *true* friends I have (there are far too few), impressing myself while proving "them" wrong, and it's the skinny jeans. I want them back. Acceptance blows (except when eating cookies...)

Vicki Rocho said...

Ironically, I've been squeezing my butt into my jeans lately so I've gone with option 3: Get thineself to yonder gym and sweat that twinkie right off.

(actually, I haven't had a twinkie in years)

(and as luck would have it I am wearing my candyland shirt at the moment...was gonna give it to hubs but opted to hoard it for myself.)

Dayana Stockdale said...

Most people soooo don't get the need. This is why I blog. I finally found people who get it! Like you ;)