Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Your hand. My hand. Everyone has a hand.

Dudes, before I even start rambling, you may have noticed my web store has disappeared. Apparently my buttons weren't working and after an hour and a half of deleting, re-creating and deleting again, I finally gave in to my sleepy eyes and temporarily took it down. I will have it back up ASAP but if you CAN'T WAIT to order, shoot me an email and I can forward pics of the shirts and we can do it that way. Oooh yeah.

Also, I Heart Joy Like BR80 Part 2 will be extended. If I can't sell shirts, I can't meet my goal. If I can't meet my goal, I can't help people. If I can't help people I can't eat chocolate to celebrate. If I can't eat chocolate to celebrate, I will be sad.

Moving on.

Life is, well, life. Sometimes it goes your way, and sometimes, it doesn't come close. I'm not saying where Candyland fits in this equation, I'm just saying, we all need a little help sometimes. And I think how you deal with the prospect of helping someone can either make or break the kind of person you are.

Okay, so I will say where Candyland fits in this.

In the last two-three weeks, I've been on most sides of this. I've helped people (and felt good about it), people have helped me (and it appeared as though they felt good about it, which makes me feel doubly good), and people have helped me (and seemed to hate me for it which makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry).

I think it never hurts to ask for something you want/need as long as the possibility of getting a no is acceptable. However, it's those in the latter group that confuse me. Helping and giving should be from your heart. If it doesn't come from a pure place, or you're make to feel bad or hurt or sorry you asked for the lift, maybe it's better not to receive the help at all.

Life is always giving birth to irony babies.

No, this is not even about writing or the blog or the fundraiser or anything online. It's about life. If you need help, and I'm able, I will do so with a light heart and compassion and understanding. I will do your charity walk. I will help you meet your goal. I will donate bone marrow. I will give my blood, plasma. I will lend you my last $1. I will be the best person I can be, with a smile. I hope you will be too. You never know when you might need it reciprocated....

Tell me, have you needed help with anything lately? Have you done anything to help someone lately?
Candyland. OUT.

22 comments:

Slamdunk said...

I certainly have room for improvement in the number of people I have helped lately.

Linda G. said...

I'm in the "If You Can't Give Without Resenting It, Don't Give At All" camp. Like you say, giving should make the giver feel as good as the recipient. :)

salarsenッ said...

Will email you. <3

Creepy Query Girl said...

I'm with you. My mother in law is one of those people who says 'I'm always here for you! I'll help you with whatever you need!' and then when we ask for her help she acts like we're taking advantage of her and holds it over our head for an eternity. Needless to say, we HATE asking for her help...which leaves us between a rock and a hard place since my hubby's an only child, I have no family in france and my inlaws are the only ones close enough to help us out.

Tracy said...

On the flip side, sometimes you may be forced into helping someone that you'd rather not help, but you have to because they are connected to someone that you do want to help, but you can't help them without helping the person you'd rather not help. (How's that for a run-on sentence?)

For instance, you might not want to help an in-law because they are a mean, spiteful person...but you do it because if you don't your family member will suffer in the process.

Other than than, people who complain about helping SUCK!

Angela Felsted said...

What a great person you are to be so eager to help anyone.

Kelly Breakey said...

I pretty much live my life for me now. When I was younger I spent a lot of time trying to please everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Now, not so much.

It took me a long time to realized I can't make anyone happy but me. Yes, I can contribute to their happiness, but honestly some folks are just happier when they can be snarky or miserable. I don't work well that way. So, I choose who I am going to spend my time with wisely, which is why I always stop by your blog.

Keep on rockin the Candyland way and just know you are making a difference.

Kelly said...

I rely on my family (my parents and inlaws) for help so much with my kids and I should somehow reciprocate more than I do.
But I do try and help others in other ways and it does make me feel good when I do.
You are one of the most generous people I know, Candace!

Matthew Rush said...

Can Tim borrow $100 bucks? He needs to give it to Matt. Just kidding.

This is why you're full of win, because you're stuck on the realness.

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

i never understand people who donate or help out and then are angry. Listen, if you don't want to help, or can't, just don't. It's that simple

Nicole Zoltack said...

I try to help as many people as I can. I have a very hard time saying 'no.'

Jen Daiker said...

Candyland you're such a giving person. I see it on the blog everyday, and that's the one thing I love most about you. That and your crazy ass ways, without them I feel that I cannot breathe.

As for helping people are needing help. I'm with you, when you need something I do my best to give it all I got, promote when I can't donate, shout-outs to the end of the earth. I find that sometimes after I've given all I got I'm hurt even more, by those who don't always understand the kindness I try to portray.

Then again, let's get this straight, I'm not Mother Theresa.

Rose Cooper said...

You are an amazing, kind, giving person! I wish everyone had as much good in them as you. I feel the same. I've been lucky enough to receive help in my life at times when i've needed it. And in general, I know what it's like to need help so why wouldn't I do the same for others? I never expect something in return, though it's nice to know there are kind people out there still.

Jessica Bell said...

I love to help people and always do where possible! I feel just as good giving help as I do getting it. And I've never understood people who think of it as a thorn in their side. Boggles me to no end ...

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

I don't understand people who get frustrated when they do something nice. It kinda kills the whole "nice" part of it, yanno?

I've been trying to help people as much as I can. I wish I had more hours in the day though...

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss candace! you got such a BIG heart!for me givng and helping is easy cause just like you its inside my heart. i been soooo lucky for getting help and support when i gotta do that yucky chemo junk. even in being sick i can feel love coming into me and its a big help you cant make words on. today i been giving hugs to those mental ill people where my brother works and it makes my heart feel soooo good. mostly they dont get much love. for me you been a big help in my life and been there for me so much times. i hope i been a little help in yours.
...love and hugs from lenny

Elana Johnson said...

I feel like I need help to just keep breathing most days. So yeah, people help me all the time.

I'd like to think I help people, but one can never be sure. You never know what you might say that will offend someone, or if your sarcasm won't come through the computer the right way, or whatever.

The best we can do? Keep on keepin' on. Do what we do. Help those we can, and hope someone else helps the rest. You know?

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I try to help my students in some small way every day (and I don't mean homework, although I do that too). I've helped a couple of bloggy friends with their MS's lately, and I've been needing help with extra eyes on revisions. I dove in and made the 3rd to 1st person change. :-)

Joanna St. James said...

Just be yourself Candy and 4get the haters.

February Grace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
February Grace said...

Sorry had to correct my own typo here it was driving me crazy.

Comment, take two:

This post puts me in mind of a line from a poem by Shel Silverstein, which I will now badly paraphrase because I'm too damn tired to get out the book, which is up a staircase that feels way too long by the end of a day like this.

'there's the kind of help that helping's all about, and there's the kind of help we can all do without.'

I think the issue is that some people don't want to say no, so they say yes then hate it the whole time.

It is far better to say "I'm sorry, I can't, I've got too much on my plate right now," than to help someone out and never let them forget it. I know myself, I'd much rather not have that kind of 'help' at all.

hugs
bru

Shannon said...

I think it's a matter of emotional maturity. At least it was for me. When I was younger, I used to help people out and expect something in return. And by something, I mean a thank you or acknowledgment of some kind. Sounds like a simple thing, but I've learned it's not so simple.

We're all fighting our own battles and what seems like a given to me isn't the same for others. I still struggle with projecting my values and code of conduct upon others and having hurt feelings when my expectations aren't met, BUT I have learned that when it comes to giving something (time, effort, money, love, charity, friendship), I need to do it because *I* want to and not because I expect something in return. If I come from a place of love and charity, I feel good about anything donated, regardless of the outcome.

Did I ramble?