Thursday, December 9, 2010

Candyland is a place for the cheerful and a-holes alike

The holidays are a funny time of year. They bring out the best, and the worst in people. Of course it's a time of giving, but it's also a time for a-holes and Debbie-downers. No judgment here (unless you're an a-hole), because the winter weather, as much as I love thee, sometimes makes me blue. I've noticed in the past week my level of crankiness, sluggishness and overall Candyness has been on a downward slope.

Which is why I'm a big believer in giving back.

If you ever wonder why I talk (talk, talk, talk, talk) so much about donating time or money or blood, or bone marrow or a smile, it's because I truly think focusing attention on someone else when you're feeling down, helps. And there's going to be some of you saying BAHUMBUG. And depending on what time of the day (like morning...grrr), I'm right there with you.

And though it's not widely known outside of my beautiful blog community, the holidays have been REALLY hard ever since I found out about my father. The details are many, and make no difference to you, but the politics revolving around him, his death, and his mother who won't speak to me (even at Christmas), kind of make this is heart-wrenching time in Candyland.

But then I remember there's always someone who has it worse off.

Today, friends, I'm just having one of those BAHUMBUG days. So I encourage you to slap me around in the comments a little. Go ahead. Tell me a joke. A limmerick (Linda...). A Christmas story with a HAPPY ending. Or literally, just write *SLAP*

Candylandhastheblues.OUT.<---should totally be a country song


Jessica Bell said...

Um ... watch this :o)

stick it out to the end. The last line is the best.

Jules Ausborn said...

Hang in there!!! Your twin sista is here to save the day!!! I've brought chocolate (a must when you're down), a chick flick (suitable for the little one - princesses maybe?), pizza (will be ordered when we're done with all the candy I brought for movie day!)

Don't forget to keep your PJ's on, that's the only way this day will work! Then when I leave you can take a bubble bath, that makes life better!


Kelly said...

Have hubs buy you one of these to keep you warm.
SLAP! (and a hug)

Linda G. said...

Awww. *hugs*

Okay, but remember--this is an early morning effort, so pardon me if it sucks.


There once was a lady, un-jolly,
Whose mood had been pierced by holly.
Brady plucked a string--
It made her heart sing!--
And cheered her right up, by golly!

Vicki Rocho said...

I can't top that limerick. That was inspired!

Here's a (((HUG))) instead. Sorry, I can't bring myself to slap ya when you're down.

Melissa Gill said...

Oh man, I know what you mean about the holidays. The guilt you feel about not feeling cheerful all the time just exacerbates the whole damned deal.

So the funniest thing I can drag out of my early am brain right now is that freakin' commercial about the hampsters driving around in cars doing that rap song. I wish I could send you a link, but the alarms go off at work if you go to u-tube or anything like that. It cracks me up everytime I see it, but I swear I can't even tell you what car it advertises. I just love those hampsters.

Angela Felsted said...

You're great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I understand how family strife can be, sometimes when family members won't talk to us, it's better because you don't need any extra angst or meanness this time of year. And you are a wonderful person. I hope you feel better soon.

Shannon said...


Do you have a tree up yet? It's really hard to be depressed with twinkling lights!

As far as giving back, you can always check out today's anonymous critique and give another writer some lovin'.

If you need to talk, you know where to find me. <3

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss candace! sorry youre bahumbug this morning. you gotta go back and read that holiday blues stuff idid a post on. whoa!!for sure i couldnt never slap candyland. yikes! but for sure i could give you lots of love and really BIG HUGS. and dont ever forget... lennylovesloveslovescandyland!!!!!!
...more hugs from lenny

Joanna St. James said...

oh please Imma slap u cos u said so *SLAP*
okay now that the aggression for the day is done this is what sensible Jo has to say get up, go out and play with that beautiful daughter of yours. We can never control other people's actions no matter what we think but we can always control ours.
Hang in there


Tracy said...

I don't have any funny stories, jokes or songs and I hit like a girl so I doubt slapping you around would do too much.

But I'm totally willing to share my Starbucks Peppermint Mocha with you this morning. Yes, I realize it's half gone and luke-warm at this point, but I'ma share it with you anyway. And I do this despite knowing that you sometimes eat food that's fallen on the ground and/or has hair in it that may or may not be yours. ;o)

Kelly Breakey said...

Favorite Christmas Story..

Have you ever seen a city kid (me) use a chain saw to cut down a tree? It was pretty scary for a few minutes there, let me tell you. But I always smile when I remember that tree.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Because I love you so much! :-)

The Pee-Pee Dance
by Bruce Lasky & Kay Cummings

You cross your right foot left.
You cross your left foot right.
You squeeze your knees together,
And you hold them really tight.
You tiptoe to the potty
So will not wet your pants.
You're doing the Pee-Pee Dance.

You make a little jump.
You make a little hop.
You squeeze your knees together,
And you know you shouldn't stop.
Keep hopping to the potty
'Cause you cannot take a chance.
You're doing the Pee-Pee Dance.

February Grace said...

I'm sorry it's so hard on you, Candyland (and for the record, yeah, to a lot of us the details DO matter!) I wish it could be easier.

My prescription- see if you can get your hands on a copy of A Wish For Wings That Work by Berkeley Breathed. Opus learns there's more than one way to fly- and that book's message is one I carry with me all year long, that by helping others, we learn more about ourselves, and often achieving our dreams in unexpected ways, then we ever could have imagined.

To risk setting off everybody's schmaltz detectors...I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna sit here and sing a few bars of "You Raise Me Up," just for you. Listen close, can you hear me?

I swear, I'm on key.


Colene Murphy said...

Awe! Buck up Candace! Think about all the good you do and all the people that are in your life now and have good holidays with them. Make NEW great memories with them. Chin up! No more slump! Past can be very hard but shouldn't make the future any harder than it has to be because of what is done! You are loved. You are appreciated. You are special and wonderful and oh so awesomely fantastically amazing!

LTM said...

I have no funny jokes, and unfortunately, I've been dealing with crazy people all a.m. (some family members) who've got me in a super grinch mood...

so maybe *SLAPS* for us both. Or MAYBE...

Lisa Potts said...

My contribution to making you feel better is a pick-up line a friend of mine uses at Christmas.

Please don't be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.

To this day, he wonders why it never works.

Nicole Zoltack said...

Take a bubble bath. That always makes me feel better.

But I think instead that I'm gonna take a nap. Little guy has been wearing me out and I can't think straight anymore.

Abby Minard said...

Aw, sending some love your way! I get down during Christmas because Hubs works 10 hr days, 6 days a week during the holidays (big ol retail chain manager) and we NEVER see him. So it kinda makes me dread the holidays. So I try to focus on the all the people I buy gifts for, and trying to give a little to charity as well. (with him being away it DOES give me al ittle more time to blog, tee hee ;p) Anyway, it's okay to be down sometimes, but then you have such a great community, friends and family surrounding you that they bring you back up!

DL Hammons said...

You asked for it!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !


middle child said...

How about Christmas day, Christmas music in the backround. ('round young vi-r-gin mother and child,...)
And at the dinner table, with everyone present my young son asks, "Mom, what's a Virgin?"

Ha! Like I could remember that far back.

Robyn Campbell said...


Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. hehe

I loves ya, and you and I have very different memories of our fathers. Don't come to my blog today. Wait and visit next week. Okay?

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

(((HUG))) I hope you are feeling more cheery today...