Wednesday, December 8, 2010

In Candyland, grace is something to be earned, not expected

So, we had a little accident here in Candyland.

Let me preface this by saying I am:
a) clumsy
b) overly anxious all the time
c) feels rushed 99.9% of my life
d) not the best with sharp objects

The night started as any other. The little one laid down to sleep, the hubs was in the front room fiddling with his iPhone and Candyland was preparing for a relaxing bubble bath to lull her to sleep. Okay, so this isn't a typical night, obviously, but it was set to be a good one.

I enjoy baths. A lot. And yaaknow, ladies sometimes rid themselves of excess hair with something called a razor. I ran out of the good ones. I only had a thin double-bladed piece of shizz. But I thought, what the hey.

Do you see where this is headed...

Fast forward ten minutes and a bloodied towel later.
Yes, I'm that girl. The one who can't be trusted with sharp, metal objects. It didn't hurt as bad as it looks, but (and not to gross you out) my leg still bleeds as I type this. It just won't stop. It's NAST. So with that, friends, tell me...any household accidents lately? I can't be the only spazz.

Candyland. OUT.


Jessica Bell said...

OUCH!!!! Househole accidents, let's see ... How about making a cake in a tin with a removable base, and realising AFTER pouring the cake mix into it, that it wasn't secure. I was standing there, holding teh tin like a tray - with my hand under it. The rim of the tray very shortly ended up around my arm, and the cake mix EVERYWHERE.

Anne said...

Ah! The carnage! Do you need a personal assistant to deal with the sharp things?

Linda G. said...

Yee-owch! You might want to consider switching to a nice depilatory. For the sake of your towels as well as your legs. ;)

Christine Danek said...

Razors stink, but I still use them. I hate it when that happens. Hope you heal soon. I also feel rushed 99.9% of the time too. What is it with that?
Knives and me are a bad combo, especially super sharp ones.
Luckily, no big accidents recently. Wait, I think I just jinxed myself. *gets into protective bubble*

Justine Dell said...

Ah, I hate razor cut. They don't hurt once you're out of the bath, but man--they sure sting when water hits them. And they DO take FOREVER to stop bleeding! Can you tell I've done that time or two ... or ten?

I, too, am a clutz. I break things, fall over stuff, fall UP stairs, run into doors and wall. I should walk around with a helmet! My poor kiddo is the same way. lol


A. Grey said...

I once cut myself so badly (with a safety razor, no less) that it needed STITCHES. And because we happened to be on a cruise ship and it was late, the infirmary was closed, which meant we would have to spend $160 for 'emergency' treatment. I'm good with wounds. I did not spend $160 to have a man 'save' me.

The funny part came in with my father's anger. I was just eighteen, you see, and we were on our first big family vacation. "Why the hell were you trying to shave anyway?" He demanded. "Because I was going to wear a dress." I answered. "So?" He replied. I didn't have an answer for him beyond 'society says I'm supposed to shave my legs'.

I didn't shave for like three years after that. Now, I shave for me, not for society.

Kelly said...

Yikes! Someone could reuse this for their YA story...
Maybe you should use Nair next time. :) But then you might get a chemical burn..
I just don't shave my legs in the winter so things like that don't happen! (Kidding! Well, sort of:)

Robin_Lucas said...

Ouch! I have a great household accident for you:
I have a King of Hill moment a few years ago-- My Gas Grill BLEW UP on me.
No lie!!
Thankfully, my family and I had just gotten out of the pool and I went to light the grill to start bbq-ing.
Well, wonderful me, didn't lift the top to allow air in when I hit the ignition button.
Ten minutes later, me and my wonderful tray of chicken, hot dogs, and hamburgers, walk up to the grill.
I lift the top and this huge fireball leaps from the grill and goes through me.

My eyebrows took about a year to grow back. My nose hair just started coming back in. And my eyelashes, are stumps to this day.

Solvang Sherrie said...

Ugh. Someone gave me one of those big scary knives for Christmas a few years ago and I didn't even take it out of the package because I figured as soon as I did I would cut myself. I finally opened it last week. And cut myself. Sharp objects + me = bad news!

Matthew Rush said...

If only you lived in OR, then Suckhole could put some snow on it.

Tim likes your anklet.

Melissa Gill said...

OMG, that looks so painful. I usually get a bit lax with this activity during the winter and wind up having to use a weed whacker when I have a special occasion.

Once when I was trying out for the Freshman cheerleading squad in High School I tried to shave my legs. I didn't have much experience at the time, and wound up taking not only hair, but a huge strip of skin off my thigh. At the tryouts I had a huge scab about an inch wide by 5 inches long across my thigh. Really pretty. Needless to say, I didn't make the squad.

Amie B said...

one word: waxing

Dawn said...

I'm so glad you said it looks worse than it felt because that's thriller-novel worthy. Ouch.

aspiring_x said...

maybe you need stitches? is it still bleeding?

i'm a clutz too. one of the most pathetic injuries i've given myself: i cut my finger deep on the tape dispenser at work... twice. hey! that thing has a wicked blade! (or at least that's the story i'm sticking with)

you know, i cut doesn't have to be that big to need stitches... it's all about the depth...

salarsenッ said...

Just shaking my head. lol

Tawna Fenske said...


Reminds me of when I first started shaving my legs and misjudged how hard I had to press. It was like peeling a carrot, all the way up my shin. I still have the scar to this day.


Shannon said...


Reading Tawna's post...the first time I shaved was in 6th grade before a track meet. My friend and I thought we would run faster if we shaved our legs, so we grabbed a razor from her mom's bathroom and shaved. Dry.

Yeah. Sucked!

Household accidents:
I have gashes on my fingers from this week and last. You'd think that I'd learn. For the past two weeks, I've sliced my fingers on recently opened tin cans as I jammed my hand in the trash, trying to pack it down. Just goes to teach you that laziness (i.e. not taking out the trash) doesn't pay.

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

i once cut my finger so bad with a butter knife i actually considered driving to the ER for stitches until i finally got the bleeding stopped.
a butter knife.

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss candace! yikes that looks sooo bad. i hate that you did that. ack! im just real happy i dont gotta do that shave stuff and for sure when i get more older im growing a beard. i hope it gets healed up real quick. it hurts me when candyland hurts.
...hugs from lenny

Kelly Breakey said...

Right now, I am scared for you. Someone needs to take those sharp objects away from you.

Elana Johnson said...

Holy cow! I did this the day of my husband's graduation. We were staying in a hotel and I didn't have a razor. So I asked for a complimentary one. Uh, not so complimentary. And it did hurt really bad.

As for me, no accidents lately. Except for where I injured my arm on the Bowflex. That still hurts most days.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ouch! That is why I am so thankful to be a blonde with invisible little leg hairs. I don't shave my legs and no one notices! :-)

Chris Phillips said...

Nair wears short shorts.

Nicole Zoltack said...

Ugh, I hate razors. Shaving in general just plain sucks.

February Grace said...

Oh, hope you heal up real soon!

Yes, as proof that most accidents happen in the home...I could've burned down my building today. The sad story is on FB a little ways back in today's status if you want to be reminded you're not alone!


DL Hammons said...

I bet all of the vampires reading your blog just got really excited!! :)

DL Hammons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Colene Murphy said...

UGH!! I'm so sorry!!! Shaving is too dangerous anyway, but for clumsy folks, it's like we need a personal shaver. It does look super painful though. Hope you're okay!

Umm.. I open my car door into my face more often than should really ever happen ever to anyone, let alone one person. SO. No. you aren't alone.

Vicki Rocho said...

OWOWOW! I always butcher my ankles...and miss spots on my knees. I should just get them waxed, but that costs money and isn't exactly convenient.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

A word of advice...waxing to yourself is often painful and not always successful. I'd say you need a new razorblade and maybe a new lightbulb?

BE SAFE!!!!!!!