Friday, December 17, 2010

Feel Me Up Friday: I spray my eyes with nonstick spray...so they don't stick to things

Wow, one week until Jesus's birthday bash, can you believe it?<--I can't. Where did December go and more importantly, has anyone figured out where the missing socks disappear to when washed? There's a vortex in the universe, I swearz.

Anywho, I've yet to get absolutely anything worth a crap done but am determined to, this weekend. And note to my loyal readers: The week of December 27th, Candyland will be on a much-needed hiatus from just about everything interwebrelated. I will miss you, yesyes, but I will make sure there is something absofreakinhilarious (or something like it) (okay, maybe they won't be the funniest things you've ever seen) (I'll try) each day for your eyes to bathe in.

Random Fact: Whilst opening the non-stick spray, I squeezed the lid a bit too tight as it unhinged and the butter-flavored spray shot me in the eye. Now my eyes are in a constant state of blur.
Random Fact: I am, apparently, the mother who drops a kid's cookie at snack time, dusts it off and puts it back on his or her plate at the offspring's Christmas party...it seems normal until I notice other mother's eyes. Whoopsi.

After the way this week started, I'm surprised we made it to Friday! But let me tell you, IT WAS WORTH IT! I think I love you all more than every, if that's even possible. This weekend, I...er...uhh...Santa will be doing the present making crap. If only he could give everyone New Meds stickers, posters and CDs, all would be right with the world.


Tell me friends, is Santa done in your hood or does he need to crack the whip on the elves?
Candylandfeelsnormalagain (ifsheeverwas). OUT.

29 comments:

Tracy said...

Um, what's this about Jesus' birthday bash? Who's in charge of this, because I haven't received any invitation in the mail!

In all seriousness, I'm one of the screwed people. The people who found all sorts of excuses NOT to get their Christmas shopping done until the weekend before. I suck!

Linda G. said...

Santa's almost done around here. Then again, Santa has been known to forget Really Important Stuff, and will usually have to make a panic run or two before the big birthday bash. ;)

Creepy Query Girl said...

Ugh, Santa's a little behind in these parts. And what's wrong with five second rule? Tell those mother's to blow their own cookies. Have a fantastic holiday!

Anne said...

I did that with the spray too! not even kidding. It's like the cap is a bit too small so that it's a constant battle to close it.

salarsenッ said...

Crack me some whip, hon. Seriously, I'm wayyyyy behind. I totally suck this year. Not sure what it is. *sigh* Want to cyber shop? No, probably too late for that, huh?

Matthew Rush said...

Your eyes are full of blur? No wonder this post rocks so hard, you couldn't see when you wrote it! Er, wait ... does that even make sense?

Santa got three gifts taken care of so far at my house, so yeah, there's a lot more work to do.

Jessica Bell said...

I think Santa needs to take a few Geography classes. Coz I aint seen him round since I moved overseas!

Elena Solodow said...

There is much whip-cracking to be done.

Melissa Gill said...

What Katie said on the 5 second rule. And hey, you've got a whole week, you're not behind until 5:00 on 12/24/10. Until then, anything's possible.

Susan Fields said...

Don't those mothers know about the five-second rule? Sheesh.

Santa's pretty caught up around here. On Monday, Mrs. Claus needs to start some serious baking, though.

Magan said...

Pregnancy has made me weak and I can't even open the Pam spray can by myself, so my husband just sits the cap ontop so I don't have to unscrew it... I suggest you do that, so you don't have to worry about your vision, but that could be a claim against the PAM company...just saying they may need a warning label. (Let's just let my legal side stay away for now...)

Kelly said...

Ha ha on the cookie!
This afternoon I have so many errands to do as is last afternoon where kids are in school (and oldest had strep this week so was home for three days).
Have a good weekend!!! And good luck on the Santa stuff!

LTM said...

other mothers... please. My child wears so much dirt, I'm sure she's already got more than half of it inside her~

As for the cooking spray, change your contacts. That always helps me~ ;p

Merry Christmas!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Don't feel bad about the cookie thing, I do the same. But considering my 8 yo drops his toothbrush on the floor next to the toilet (in which he has trouble aiming his pee) and then sticks said toothbrush in his mouth, the cookie thing is not a big deal. ;)

Lisa said...

I haven't done any Christmas shopping (except toys for my baby - toys are fun to buy). I'm hoping to make a list and sneak all my shopping in this weekend (because the mall will be jam-packed! It will be the best time to go! I didn't want to be able to park within a mile of the store anyway!).

Laura Marcella said...

LOL, I did the same thing! Except I use the Misto- it's a non-stick sprayer you fill with olive oil or vegetable oil (you know, healthier and chemical-free and all that shizz). So when I was pumping it, I accidentally hit the nozzle and it sprayed me on the mouth. So glad it was only vegetable oil!

Colene Murphy said...

Oh kids need germs or they will never have good immune systems. Floor cookies=good momming.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Leave it to you to butter spray your eyeballs! LOL. I am MOSTLY done with shopping. I have a lot of baking to do, though! :-)

Joanna St. James said...

er the germs help em build antibodies.
Luckily i bought a few things this year that i can wrap and give the in laws otherwise santa will be doing some last minute airport rush (I promise i'll only buy books and I love paris mugs)

Kelly Breakey said...

Here's wishing you and yours a Merry Merry too.

I was thinking of a much needed web vacation too, but then decided this will be the only sanity I get after the family gets together. Does that make me sound unappreciative? I hope not. Have a great one!

Nicole Zoltack said...

Let me know if you find out about the missing socks. I swear I have a small bag full of mismatched socks and I have no idea where the mates are. Haven't known for years now. Hm... maybe I should start using those socks as rags and recycle them.

Anyhow, Santa is done shopping but the gift wrapping needs to commense. Maybe this weekend. I'm so far ahead of the game this year. Normally I would just be buying the presents right around now (the weekend before Christmas is when I normally shop) but instead, almost all of them have arrived already through the mail. I'm thrilled with the presents I bought for hubby. He's so spoiled.

Talei said...

The little elves will have crack the whip. I'm going with the flow this year, as long as I'm home with loved ones - all is good. Have a lovely holiday season and enjoy your hiatus! xx

Abby Minard said...

Oh pssh, I do that all the time with the dusting off of cookies. It's good for them, right? Santa is done here (just the erm..making, not the wrapping). But I'm not done with my shopping for relatives etc. But we don't celebrate until New Years with the extended fam, so I still have some time. But I still need to get stocking stuffers for hubs...sigh, it's neverending.

Kelly Dexter said...

Santa has barely scratched one name off the list. We must have entered one of those vortexes you mentioned, because I really thought there was more time.

Also, the cookie thing is no big. Those other mothers need to loosen up.

Vicki Rocho said...

...I'd put the cookie back on the plate too. It's not a big deal. (what they don't know won't hurt them, right?)

Genie of the Shell said...

I'm done, but only because I'm about to have a baby and therefore have a great excuse to go all half-assed for Christmas this year.

With regard to the socks, I just received a most excellent baby gift: one of those packs of socks that come in a set of five, none matching each other.

Chris Phillips said...

I'd roll the cookie in dirt on purpose. Builds character.

Jen Daiker said...

Santa, man he's a hard working oldie. I thought they had retirement plans for everyone, but I guess the north pole doesn't apply.

Just a reminder! Be Jolly By Golly Blog fest is this Monday! Melissa and I look forward to reading your entry!

Jen/Jules
Unedited & Jules and the Stars

Mo said...

Do I want to admit to spraying myself in the eyes with the cooking spray too?

Hmm.

No, no I do not. >.> Although it might be too late.

Happy Holidays! :)