Friday, February 4, 2011

Feel Me Up Friday: When a windstorm knocks the bathroom stall open...

WOW, friends. All I can say from yesterday's birthday extravaganza is THANK YOU. For the comments, the emails, the FB posts, the everything. I always wondered what it would feel like to be insanely popular for a day and now I know. From bloggers to friends, to family, to strangers to a certain band member, it was, quite possibly, one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

So, thank you.

And what did I do on said wondiferous birthday? I got a horrific license where I'm sure to be pegged the next child molestation suspect, I tried on fancy woman clothes while pretending to have matured, I bought groceries (I'm SO wild!), sipped a cafe mocha at my leisure (this NEVER HAPPENS anymore), and mostly enjoyed the quiet (offspring was at Grammie's for the day).

It was perfect.

And now, I'm SO ready for that feel up. Clean hands be damned. Come as you are.

Random Fact: Before trying on fancy woman clothes, I went to the ladies room to, yaaknow, relieve myself. I'm not sure why, but I'm a magnet for the doors that don't lock and I never notice until I'm mid-pee, stuck holding one hand on the door and the other on my pants. Well yesterday, I had no time to hold said door as it flew open mid-pee like a windstorm. Dear lady who saw my business, I hope we never see each other again.

Random Fact: If you ever see a girl in the grocery store with a full cart, wandering around, I'll bet by the end of the trip her cart is half-empty because she felt guilty buying all that crap and stuffed random items in various places of the store on her way out. I'm neither confirming or denying this was anyone I know (me).

Talk about an after-birthday treat! Thank you! And a big thanks to the hubs for writing yesterday's post so I could [sort of] be lazy for a day. The birthday shenanigan's shall ensue with friends tonight and fondue tomorrow NOMNOMNOM.

Until tomorrow friends tell me, have you ever put something from your cart in a random isle because you were too lazy to put it back? #truthtime
Candyland. OUT.

25 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

Hubs wrote yesterday's post??? LOL Is he the one who replied to my comment too? LOL. PS: If so, he wants a guitar for his birthday ;o)

Jen Daiker said...

Yes I do put groceries in random places due to laziness. My husband feels so guilty doing it. He is even more of saint than I am... sort of pathetic.

PS - Stop by my place today. I talk about your boobs Paula (so much for feeling up right?)

Magan said...

My husband WILL NOT let me put groceries back in random places. I think it's because he stocked groceries when he was in high school, so he wants them to go back to the right place.

Also, I believe all stall doors are faulty now. I locked the door at the gyno yesterday and this lady actually OPENED the door while I was peeing in the specimen cup. No knocking, just walked in. I hope I never see her again either...

Misha said...

Strange... I always have this compunction to put back unwanted groceries where I found them. I say strange, because I'm not the tidiest person on earth.

Yikes on the door disaster. People have barged in on me because the lock didn't work.

:-)

Linda G. said...

OMG! That was YOU in the bathroom stall? 0_0

Elena Solodow said...

I was food shopping a few weeks ago and someone had left an open container of hot food (you know, the ready-made stuff?) on a shelf. I didn't see it and stuck my hand right in some gravy. It was lovely.

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss candace! im glad you had a really happy birthday. i dont put stuff back but my brother that i go shopping with gets a little mad at me when hes putting the groceries on that belt cause theres stuff i put in that cart when he wasnt looking like candy and hotwheels. ha ha. mostly he just puts it at the back of that belt and gives me a pretty scary look. ack!
...hugs from lenny

salarsenッ said...

License? You're talking about a new driver's license, right? I swear; they do everything in their power to make you look like a criminal. Have you had a passport picture taken yet? OMGosh...my hubby looks like a drug dealer in his. It's a freaking riot!

Melissa Gill said...

Well darn, I missed your birthday. This is why I should never take a day off blogging. Happy Birthday a day late! Have fun with the fondue.

I leave a trail of unwanted items from one end of the store to the other!

Kelly said...

Glad you had a great bday and got a bday message from br80!
Enjoy your bday weekend!!!!
(My kids just applied for passports and the man chastised me for them smiling in their passport pics. No toothy smiles he said. He said he hopes they go through! Yow!)

Heather said...

ROTFL! You crack me up. Here's hoping you never see the pee-peeper again! I'm glad you had a great birthday! Sometimes the laid back ones are the best. :)

Nicole Zoltack said...

Yep, I've put stuff back in random isles. I hate going grocery shopping as it is, I'm not going to spend more time in there, with two kids in the cart, to put it back in it's proper place. Not gonna happen.

Katie Mills said...

OH I'm totally guilty of placing things 'wherever' when I de-guilt the shopping cart. So glad you had a great birthday!! And I LOVE fondu. Mmmm.

Matthew Rush said...

At least you weren't using the toilet at the Minneapolis Airport.

And putting items back on random shelves? Do it all the time. I call it unshopping and decarting, and I consider it a favor to the stock people because it gives them job security.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

#truthtime answer = yes. Yes, I have. More than once. I'm glad you had a wonderful day, Candace. Now follow it with a wonderful weekend! :-)

Stephanie Faris said...

You're so funny! Well, I'm sure the lady who saw your business didn't see anything she hasn't seen before!

Marsha Sigman said...

ALL. THE. TIME.

And I'm sorry about the bathroom stall thing...I swear I didn't see your feet.

Wait...not you? Great, someone else is out there trying to deal with the same trauma.

Abby Minard said...

Haha, that is so me. With the bathroom and the groceries! Thank you for making me almost spit my soup out while reading. Made my day. (btw, my husband HATES that I stuff random things from my cart in aisles they don't belong. He always takes it and puts it back where it belongs)

Shannon said...

So glad that you had a good birthday! Be sure to carry that into the weekend!!

I've never taken anything from my cart and placed it on a random shelf - the OCD side of me would never let that happen. Truthfully, I have no shame. I will hand the item(s) to the check out person and ask them to put them back.

lbdiamond said...

LOL--the bathroom stall foible...oy.

Kelly Breakey said...

Good to know it was a great day. Every single one of them is a gift, so just remember that. BTW we really enjoyed the cake we made in your honor last night. It was fabulous!

Lana D said...

I confess, I am guilty of said random stuffing. I used to do that quite often until I went to work in a department store and became the person who had to return all those random items to their proper place. Now, I feel much to guilty about it and so I try to avoid it. Sometimes though, I just don't remember where the hell I found it in the first place! lolololol

Natalie Aguirre said...

Glad you had a happy birthday. And you shouldn't cough about being 22. You are so young compared to me and yea! you got an agent. Hope you have a great birthday.

Colene Murphy said...

Hahaha! That moment, that too long second where you and the poor woman who has just seen too much is soooooooooo terrible!!! Worst. Second. Ever. And then the uncontrollable laughter starts...Glad you had a great birthday!!

Susanne Drazic said...

Yes, I'm guilty of placing items from my cart onto shelves that they don't belong on. I don't do it all the time, but I know I shouldn't do it at all.