Thursday, February 3, 2011

If you tell her she looks a day over 22, she'll cut you

Well kids, it's the best day of the year...thats right, Christma....wait...oh yeah...it's Candyland's mthr fckn birthday!!! Wow. That was straight up gangsta. Or really, really white. You decide kids, but I would err on the side of the white boy. Anywho, it is actually Candyland's b-day and if you care, or dare, to ask, she is *cough* 22 *cough*.

Soooo, what did everyone get her? I got her 3 mealeyon dollas. Not really. I actually got her a day full of housework, workwork, errands, bill-paying, motherhood and a massive headache. Top that blogosphere.

The hubs stepped it up and robbed some places and now Candyland can buy some sweet shiz. You are officially invited to Candyland's virtual birthday party. You must bring a gift and something tasty or alcoholic (something like Matt Brady always works) and it better not suck or you'll end up on Candyland's black list...and trust me when I say that is a dark, dark place.

Do'nt forget to sign her virtual birthday card (aka leave a comment telling her how amazing she really is...or just leave Brady and go. Kthnnxx).

Peace out bloggos,

The Hubs. OUT.

39 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

Happy Birthday!!! I'm with ya, jamming with our gee-tars ;o) Actually, that's your gift. And brand spanking new ... um Vintage Gibson Gold top! XOXO

Anne said...

Happy birthday!!!@. Yay! I brought you this balloon animal. It's shaped like Matt Brady. Just don't hug him too tight. XOXO

Theresa Milstein said...

Happy birthday! Since it's only the 2nd birthday when you can officially drink to celebrate, you'd better go out and party!

My wish to you is when you go out, you get carded, but the person doesn't believe it's a real ID. How could the birth year be correct???

Misha said...

Happy birthday!

I brought you an invite to the 22-year-old-blogger club.

Seriously have to think of a better name.

;-P

Anyway, may this and the next 44 years be blessed.

After that, you're on your own...

Matthew Rush said...

Happy Birthday. I was trying to figure out the whole white boy thing for a while there, until I realized I was talking to suckhole. Well done good sir, well done!

I'm bringing Beth a jade statue of BR80, life size and anatomically correct. And a 64 ounce bottle of Old English. That's Ole E to you, fool.

Candace can have the love and respect of the world, because she's a bee-yootiful person, and she deserves it.

Timmy, audi 5000 g.

Vicki Rocho said...

Happy Birthday!!! Hope you get to do something fun today and I hope life keeps all irritations at bay for the next 24 hours.

Hannah Kincade said...

Happy birthday!! Add ten to that and you'll get my upcoming bday...yours is better.

Linda G. said...

Wait...are you saying Matt Brady is a tasty alcoholic? Hmmm...

Happy Birthday! You don't look a day over twenty-ONE. :)

Tracy said...

Happy *22nd*! I can't wait until June when I turn *21*

For your birthday, I bought you a love slave who looks just like Ian Somerhalder!!

But, um, I decided to keep him for myself. So . . . tonight I'm going shopping for a new love slave. I'll see what they have in the heavily tattooed department. :D

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! wOOt! 2011 is going to rock, i just know it!

Tawna Fenske said...

Happy, happy, happy birthday! You don't look a day over 22, but that might be because you have no head.

Tawna

aspiring_x said...

happy birthday!!!! whoo hoo!!! :)

how about... an autographed* special edition dual-pack of camp rock and camp rock 2!!?!?

i know! you're drooling, right?!?!

*i didn't say who autographed it...

Kelly Breakey said...

Here's hoping you have a great one!

I am singing Happy Birthday to you right now. Just be super glad you CAN'T hear it.

Kelly said...

Happy Birthday!!!!
I brought you two tix to the Avenged/New Meds show in La Crosse, Wi tonight! I am sending Wonder Woman in her invisible plane to get you (roads are awful in the Midwest right now) and then she'll get me and we're going to rock LaCrosse!

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday... ah, to be 22 again!

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Happy Birthday!!!!! I've got the tequila, but I forgot shot glasses. I'm okay swigging right out of the bottle. You?

Hope your day rocks!! <3

Magan said...

Happy Birthday Candy!

I bring deep, brooding stares from David Boreanaz because, let's face it, he has to be one of the sexiest teenage vampires known to woman...if not THE sexiest. If I was that cool and knew how to put a picture in comments I would SO do that.

Erin Kane Spock said...

Happy Birthday! I brought a bottle of Wilson Creek's Almond Champagne and some chocolates.
I found a gray hair last week. This week I have 10. I don't know what's going on, but I don't even pretend to be 22 anymore. I'm 35 and the dude at the grocery store is supposed to card me if I look younger than 40 -- but he didn't when I bought the champagne. The horror.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, sweet Candyland! Happy birthday to you!

AND I already said I was bringing Matt Brady, so everyone else is out of luck! :-)

P.S. Tomorrow is my son's 9th b-day.

Kindros said...

Happy Born Day!!

Colene Murphy said...

Happy Birthday dear Mrs. Candace!!! I bring you...http://afflictor.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Matthew-brady.jpg
MATT BRADY!!

Carolyn V. said...

Whoop, whoop! Happy b-day Candace! 22 rocks!

LTM said...

Happy birthday, youngin! Here's to keepin it rill~ <3 xoxo

Donea Lee said...

Happiest bday to you!! I don't see any cake up there - so, from me - you get cake! (boring, but tasty!!) Have a FUN one ~ :)

Nicole Zoltack said...

Happy Birthday!!! Hubby surprised me with Valentine's Day cupcakes yesterday, I'm more than willing to share! (especially since Hubby seems so gosh darned determined to ruin my diet!) Hope you have a wonderful day!

Heather said...

Happy birthday girl! I hope you have a fantastic birthday! You deserve it. :)

Justine Dell said...

Happy B-day to you~
Happy B-day to you~
You are a rock-star
A totally deserving one, too!

~JD

The Golden Eagle said...

Happy Birthday! :D I hope you have the utterly amazing day you deserve!

Susanne Drazic said...

Happy Birthday.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Happy birthday!
And I was going to guess twenty-one...

roxy said...

Happy B-Day, Birthday Girl! Enjoy all that shiz. Take it from me, when you're 22 and it's your birthday, you need to dance on a table. In a packed club, after singing bad karaoke really loud. Or at the least, tell the kids it's your cake and to leave it alone until you blow out the damn candles. Either way, have an awesome time!

Julie said...

Happy Birthday!! I brought the wine but I drank it on the way over so now I have to walk my drunk a$$ to the store so I have a gift for you.
Have a fabulous day!

Jamie Burch said...

Big hugs and happy wishes to you!!! Hope you are having a wonderful birthday. Thanks for being so awesome!!!!

Okay. So, I totally stole Marry Poppins' bag and I'm giving it to you. Everything you ever need is in that bag. It's not very fashionable, but it's surprisingly light. Enjoy the magic! ;)

Rose Cooper said...

Happy Happy 22nd Birthday, girl! You picked an awesome day to be born on, lol. You deserve to spoil yourself today!

Stephanie Faris said...

Happy birthday!!! I just recently met you but you seem pretty darn amazing to me!

Abby Minard said...

Happy Birfday Miss Candace! Looks like your hubs got you a day off from the blog! From your picture, I can tell your chest looks nice and 22ish. Hope you had a great day!

DL Hammons said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY young 'un!! :)

Shannon said...

Sorry it too me so long to get over here today. Work. Can't we make your bday a national holiday? With lots of...erm...candy? =)

Hope your day rocks as hard as you do.

February Grace said...

You're 22! OMG! I'm gonna be 22 this year too...for the 18th frigging time! It just gets BETTER!

xoxo
~bru