Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dust yourself off: Sometimes crap happens

It's life. You can't control everything, as much as you may try. Oh, that's just me? Huh. Well over the past 5+ months, I've learned plenty of lessons whether I wanted to or not. Take what you from this, but I honestly believe everything happens for a reason and once those things are said and done, you're going to be SO much stronger.

On January 1st, I suffered my 2nd miscarriage.
A week or so later, I signed with my agent.
A month-two later, I was revising and still grieving.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
And I kept revising.
But something didn't feel right.
A couple of months thereafter, my agent and I decided to part ways.
But my baby is healthy and growing.

So you see, sometimes the bad is mixed with some good and the other way around. If I have any actual, useful advice for you, writer friends, it's this: NEVER SETTLE. EVEREVEREVER.

If you have a feeling things aren't right, no matter the situation, make it right. Life is too short to take "whatever you get." Strive for THE BEST. This is your career/baby/cupcake/whatever. You're not in control of everything, but you can control what you write, think and feel. And you can most definitely control how you act. Be classy, be confident, be courageous.

Now, I write you, humbly, as I begin the query process all over again. But this time, I feel free. And my bar is set even higher.

Tell me, friends, if in the same situation (and deargodpleaseno), will you start all over again, or wave the white flag? WHY?


Candyland. OUT.

25 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

I understand the good and the bad. I'm celebrating the fact that my hubby is done with school for three weeks even though I received three rejections last night.

This sparkly fabulous chica isn't going anywhere until I land myself one hell of an agent!

Linda G. said...

Sorry things didn't work you with your agent.

"Be classy, be confident, be courageous." <--Great advice. And you are. :)

Misha said...

Good post! I agree that good and bad will always mix in life, but I think that the bad is what makes the good feel even better. Good luck with finding an even better agent and I'm praying that your pregnancy goes well.

X

Jessica Bell said...

Such a shame things didn't work out! :o( I really don't know what I would do. But I'm pretty good with acting on instinct. I don't think I would settle if I didn't like what was going on.

Matthew MacNish said...

If that happened to me I'd probably hop a train to New York so that I could go postal at the Harper Collins and MacMillan offices. Except I would shoot everyone with a watergun filled with piss, and then off myself by taking too many disco biscuits. Or maybe I should take those first?

Anne N Kenny said...

Ack. I'm sorry babe. I'm right there with you. Apparently I'll be rewriting FC so that it's 1st person... *sigh*

Big hugs. I know you'll do great.

Patty Blount said...

Oh, no! Sorry to hear you and your agent 'broke up'. But I'm thrilled about your baby!

Creepy Query Girl said...

I think it takes courage and a serious sense of knowing what you want to part ways with an agent and whatever the reason was, I'm sure it was a good one and the right path for you! I'm sorry you're back joining me in the query trenches though. It's a sad, dirty place:) But I'm sure you'll climb back out in no time!

Talli Roland said...

Very well said. And with such great conviction.

I need that reminder, because I'm often afraid that I won't get ANYTHING -- so I settle for less than I should.

S said...

Wow- great post. Thanks for keeping it real. I wish you the best in your search for a new agent, and in your pregnancy.

Adventures in Children's Publishing said...

You're awesome. Thanks for sharing your story and your fabulous attitude. Keeping our fingers crossed for you!

Martina and Marissa

Shannon O'Donnell said...

White flag?? What's that? LOL. :-)

You are such a strong example for the rest of us, Candace. You have no idea how much I admire your strength.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Why quit now? One person said yes - that means someone else will, too. Sorry about the agent, but find someone better!

Heather said...

I've been there my dear~am there~and I feel for you. It is awful but it can be the best thing to happen to you too. I spent over a year with my agent, went out on sub, didn't sell, then instead of wanting a re-write based on editor notes, he wanted to part ways. It happens, a lot. You're absolutely right though, we have to dust ourselves off and get back out there. Power to you!

Lenny Lee* said...

yikes! i cant even think my candyland friend could even talk bout a white flag. ack! nope she for sures not never a giver upper. NOT EVA!!! but for sure shes a big time inspirationator. i could know bout not giving up. but i gotta say its people just like you thats a real big help on keeping me going and not waving that white flag. i love you a ton!
...big hugs from y#1f lenny

salarsenッ said...

You are definitely still one of my blogging heroes. I've missed you. You are stronger than you think and you have a great outlook on life. Sometimes what's happening now is to prepare us for something better down the road. Without 'this' period in our lives, we'd never fully appreciate the blessings that are coming.

Elana Johnson said...

No white flags for you! You will have EVERYTHING you want, because you are classy, confident, and courageous! Keep it up, girl.

upinthecosmos said...

for me it depends on the scenario and I wouldn't be in yours so I couldn't really say what I'd do if I were.... I'd like to think I'd be as strong as you have been but I'm not sure that I would. Who knows. If it were something I'd want though, cause kids or a writing deal aren't wishes of mine, then I'd find a way to make it work for sure:-)

Donna Hosie said...

What a rollercoaster, but you are made of class.

Parting with an agent is way more common than anyone lets on. You made the right choice and the right advocate for you and your writing IS out there.

Jo Schaffer said...

Good for you for being strong and positive about life's twist and turns. (=

Holly Ruggiero said...

It's great that you kept going and are still going. Some things are harder than others. The best thing to do is to look for the good and bright things happening as well.

Lindsay said...

Hugs that thing didn't work out agent wise. I'm glad that you are keeping going though. The bad sucks, but sometimes it leads us to things that are even better. I know the right agent is out there for you. You rock!

Brianna said...

Great advice! From the moment I found your blog, I've admired your strength and perseverance!

Nicole Zoltack said...

You're so strong, I give you so much credit. I'll never surrender if you don't!

Justine Dell said...

I just wanted to remind you that I <3 you more than a fat kid loves cake. And that's like, tons, lady.

You are so right. This is a lesson I learned myself and even though it can be a hard lesson, it's an important one.

Take care.


~JD