Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Consider this Dramamine for the verbal vomit. Or just more spewage.

In re: to yesterday's verbal vomit post (I love you, dear), the hubs thought he ought to make things right (how very Matt Br80 of him...). So, being the sweet piece of Candy[land] I am, I said "sure, honey, why the hell not?" I mean, it can't get much worse than "your face is God awful," so here we go (my notes in red):

Why do you spew words?
I like to talk.  No joke. And for the most part, I like to sound smart, so out it comes.  En mass sometimes.  I also like to  be descriptive, which is where my misuse of words comes in.  I'm searching for a synonym or an adjective and my brain just gets to wandering and its all over.

What goes through your head while these weirdo bullets shoot me in the eye?
I'm searching for something good.  Sometimes I love you just doesn't cut it.  So I'll start out with something like "baby, I love you so much...." and then my brain is already on its next topic, but I haven't finished that sentence yet.  So then my brain continues...insert his foot issue here.

What is one verbal vomit you'd like to clear up right now?
Wow.  Just one? !!! It's hard to pick just one.  But I guess we'll start with when I said you weren't as big anymore.  You've never been into exercise blogging is totally excersie so when you started I tried to give you as much encouragement as possible.  But instead of just saying "you look great baby" or something else, I went with "you're not as big anymore" while holding onto your waist.

How did you score such a sweet, honest, caring etc etc etc wife?
Well for one, I'm lucky.  For two, you love me.  All of me. Including my stupid nonsense remarks that come from my mouth.  I love you. Too true.

If you could hang out with anyone what crap would you tell them?
Well, first off possibly the pool boy.  I would probably talk about his abs or his glowing skin.  Maybe Brad Pitt and I would talk about his role in Snatch and I would probably try to recite lines using his Piker accent.  He wouldn't be amused but I would go on forever.
Why don't you spike your hair all the time?
That is easy.  Because it's not practical all of the time.  For instance, from November to March its damn cold outside and I wear a winter hat because my ears are sensitive.  So that is not good for spikes.  I don't wear spikes during my work week because I have to wear a hard hat while I'm climbing poles (no laughing) and it would be a hot mess.  Plus I sweat a lot and it wouldn't go well. So I ask again (totally ignoring that long ass answer), why don't you spike your hair all the time?

What do you think about my BR80/Bert infatuations?
I think they are great except for the dream I had about you and Bert on a tour bus.  That was freaky.  But it's cool with me because I like them too.  Plus they've replaced that geriatric Steven Tyler. Hey. It was getting to a gray area bordering on gross.  BR80 and Bert rule! <3

Speaking of, are you Team Candyland or Team BR80?
I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice, do I?  I kid, I kid...Candyland all the way. My babes is the best.

If we were in a band together again, what song would I sing that reminds you of me?
If we still played it, Only One from Yellowcard.  I loved that jam and it was beautiful when we played it together.

Do you miss THIS cup?
Every moment of every day.  I'm not sure if everyone here knows that that was your cup first and I inherited from you.  I feel like that whole story is misreported and I got a bad rap from that cup. When I had it, it wasn't disease ridden and left to rot for days at a time on the TV, near the trash, on the counter etc. Plus it reminds me of Cocoa Beach and how we should move there. I wouldn't move there if Br80 himself asked us to. Well....then again...

How often do you read this blog (honestly)?
At least 2-3 times a week.  But when I'm here I read everything else that I missed.  I like the comments section to see what everyone else has to say, especially when it involves me because I'm narcissistic.  I like to google myself.  I'm that d'bag. So am I.

How much do you *heart* me?
More than my lousy words can say.  You put up with my crap all day every day and for that I am eternally grateful.  I love you baby. I love you, you crazy beast.

Well that settles it. Sort of but not really. My boo could go on all day about himself (literally), but I'm afraid he'll inevitably stick his foot in his mouth again so I'll just end it now. Until tomorrow friends, if WE were in a band together, what song would I sing that reminds you of me?
Candyland + Hubs. OUT.


The Alliterative Allomorph said...

hahaha this is fantastic! I wish I had a husband that would blog with me!!! :o)

Jen said...

I think this pretty much said it all: I don't wear spikes during my work week because I have to wear a hard hat while I'm climbing poles (no laughing) and it would be a hot mess. Plus I sweat a lot and it wouldn't go well.

Vicki Rocho said...

This was great! I'm not even sure what would happen if I let hubs in for the day.....

uh, yeah. don't expect that anytime soon!

salarsenッ said...

So classic! I need to try this. Um, yeah...Major GACK!! to your sidebar.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Lol. Okay, your Hubs has redeemed himself for the word vomit.

I think "I have to wear a hard hat while climbing poles..." could be a bestseller slogan t-shirt!

aspiring_x said...

great interview! :)
what a funny guy! (still though! never call your wife the b-word, even as a joke... that isn't funny!)

Summer Ross said...

LOL, this was fun

Kelly said...

He's a keeper! :)
Of course I'd want to hear you sing Last Resort. My question to you, is what New Medicine song would you cover?

Jaydee Morgan said...

Great post - I think it's so cool that your hubby has come here to set the record straight ;)

Mary McDonald said...

That's too funny. My husband has been known to say the wrong things too. Like, "You don't need to lose weight because I like a woman with meat on her bones."

Dawn said...

Despite his foot-in-mouth issue, your hubby absolutely rocks. Mine forgets I HAVE a blog let alone read it. How else could I get away with Muse Avatar Monday? LOL

Robyn Campbell said...

SWEET! Hubby is now on our good side. For the time being. :)

Oh and my hubby misspeaks all the time. Grrrrrrrrr

I just watched the New Medicine video premiere of Little Sister. AMAZING. That isn't the song that reminds me of you, but I had to tell you, that song is one of the best songs I've ever heard. Sad and reminded me of my niece. :(

BTW, they are awesome. I'm a fan. FOREVER.

Which song reminds me of you? Hmmmm, "With a Little Help From My Friends" by the Beatles. :)

Hugs, pal.

Lenny said...

hi miss candace! im real glad mr erik said so many times how much he loves you cause i was gonna get on my bike and ride up there to ohio and protect you from that yucky word vomit stuff. good thing i didnt cause a guy in a hard hat that climbs poles and sweats is pretty scary. yikes! for a song in a band that could make me think of you the first one that got in my head is wild thing. ha ha.
...hi to mr erik and hugs to you and him

Patti said...

So fun. I wish my husband was half as witty.

Talli Roland said...

You've very brave to let your husband loose (sort of) on your blog. I'd hate to think what would happen if I did that. We'd probably all end up atheists!

Linda G. said...

Love the he said/she said! Y'all were meant for each other. :)

Solvang Sherrie said...

Your hubs is pretty sweet :)

Janet Johnson said...

Awww . . . love the hubs. I didn't think his foot got in there too far. And admitting narcissism? It's the first step! :D

Elana Johnson said...

You and your husband have a great back-and-forth. :)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Awww, what a good sport! My hubby would NEVER cooperate like that. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!! I won't even write my husband has said. Oh man!

Kelly Breakey said...

So easy we would do a cheesy montage video to Cyndi Laupers, "Girls just want to have fun." We could make it a duet with the funny clothes from the 80's making a comeback. Watch out Madonna!

Just saying. Oh and your hubs could lead the conga line in the video.

Tahereh said...

awww that was way too cute! :D

but i must admit, the reference to SNATCH just made my day.


i have entire conversations in quotations from that movie.


Carolyn V. said...

LOL! Awesome!

Anne said...

Okay, first of all tell Erik that Anne says she's "partial to periwinkle blue".

Second--you two are so freaking adorable. Do you have any videos of your band playing? I want to see!!!

Anne said...

BTW sorry I was so late commenting. The peanut butter guy threw off my whole day. :)

Jo Schaffer said...

How adorable was this?!

LTM said...

your words are in red. Does that make you like... Jesus?

;p Mr. Candyland is a hoot! (I told you that "not as big" one was my fave... does he know my Dad?)

So, nicely done! I give you an A in husband picking. You can sing "Punk Rock Girl" for me. Later~