Sooooo, in keeping in line with more "keep your blog awesome" tips, I've got more useless info for your beautiful blue/green/brown/hazel eyes but before I start, 2 actual tips:
*Turn off word verification before I smash my computer against the wall for getting it wrong for the 10th effing time.
*If you change your settings so your email is connected when you comment, you'll actually hear back from me! If your email isn't attached, I don't respond via comments, so it's like you're doing all the work and no one likes that. I'm not rude, I promise!
Candyland's ABC's of TOTAL BLOG ANTI-SUCKAGE.
A~Ass is your friend. Always use at least one mother f@cking curse word in every post. It'll keep readers on their toes.
B~Begin paragraphs with "Uhhh" and "Ummm." It sounds like you know what you're talking about.
C~Create stupid catch phrases that becomes your signature.
D~Don't ever tell your followers random facts about yourself. They will use them against you at some point.
E~Eat foods that crumble all over your keyboard when typing. It's fun trying to get them out.
F~Forget all your real friends. Only talk to bloggers. And New Medicine fans. Yeah.
G~Gain new followers by not sucking.
H~Have contests and then say "Psyche! No prizes, biotches!"
I~Ignore your children. You raised them for 9 months pre-birth. That's enough.
J~Joke about inappropriate things that only appeal to a small percentage of people.
K~Kill your social life.Say bye-bye to it. Seriously.
L~Learn to post about things that don't matter.
M~Make enemies. Not everyone should like you.
N~New Medicine. Because I can.
O~Open your post with a double OO. Not like eyes, but boobage.
P~Party like it's 1999, and then be too tired to post about it.
Q~Query your heart out but dis all agent rejections publicly.
R~Remember to thank your cat, everyday.
S~Sell your soul, your morals and anything you have to. Popularity isn't free.
T~Tell your mother she was wrong and you do have a future in writing. Lie to her.
U~Understand that everyone *must* love your blog, or you've failed.
V~Virtual sex is not only encouraged between bloggers but I think it's mandatory. Or did I tell it wrong?...
W~Wait until you've blogged for over a year to tell anyone. They'll ream you less way after the fact.
Y~Yell at your hubs or wifey to get to cookin' and cleanin' because you're busy doin shizz.
Z~Zombies, vampires, werewolves and mermen are people too. Don't hate.
So, friends, What would your A, B, and C be of writing? And more importantly, what color are you eyes?
*Disclaimer: These are meant to be satirical, unless you live your life this way. In which case, get on with your bad self.