Wednesday, July 20, 2011

In which there are man parts invading my body

Lately, my posts are sporadic but I never forget about you. Ever. In fact, without you, I don't actually have anyone to talk to except myself (which can be awkward when I'm sleeping). I don't believe the hubs has heard a word I've said since 1912, family knows I have a morbid fear of the phone unless it's via text and other friends...meh.  Basically, I MISS YOU. No joke (and why would I joke about that?).

While my writing self has taken a dramatic pause for thought, my pregnant self has taken an UHH-SERIOUSLY? moment as I ponder the giant (excuse the phrase) WANG growing in my body as we speak. I mean, I had doubts before, but after photographic evidence of my son's crazy big junk, I'm a little freaked out. It's one thing to change a diaper. It's quite another to chase a three-legged little boy around the house. At least if all else fails, he'll have job security in the adult film industry...

What's a mother to do? SCRATCH THAT. What's Candyland to do?

Well, after staring long and hard (pun and tended) at the disturbing ultrasound, I decided to do the only classy thing someone like me would do: BLOG ABOUT IT + POST A PICTURE.
Yeah...take that in, friends. This is happening.

Until next time, man or WOman, please tell me this is normal. Or, LIE TO ME. KThanks.


CandylandandbabySully. OUT.

19 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

My mind went places unimaginable... it'll always be that way while you're around.

Never thought you'd have man parts in your body did you... it's a scary thought.

Matthew MacNish said...

My god. That thing is as big as a baby's ... wait. That joke doesn't work here.

FWIW, size matters. Not so much length as girth. TimSully Jr. clearly has both of those handled. Boo-ya-sha-ka.

Be proud Erik, be very proud.

Linda G. said...

LOL! You sure that's not the umbilical cord?

Jamie Burch said...

I'm speechless! Umm....well. It's definitely a boy! :)

GigglesandGuns said...

I totally agree with Jamie!

Patti said...

Wow, that's all the words I have.

Heather said...

He is so going to kill you when he gets older and finds out you posted this. ROTFL!

K.D.Storm said...

Ok I am not sure if this will help any but almost nine years ago I had man parts similar to the ones growing within you. It does seem scary but it is normal. i am looking for my son's ultrasound pics so I can share. Hopefully this helps and yes he grew into it before too many diaper changes. Hang in there girl!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'll take things I never thought I'd see for $1000!

Patty Blount said...

Relax. He'll grow into it. You know... like a puppy with big paws.

A word of advice from a mom of 2 sons?

Always, always, always, always, always have the new diaper ready to swoop in and cover up the man bits when you take off the dirty one. As soon as air hits it, IT SQUIRTS. One kid got me in the mouth. I still haven't recovered.

sRy_ said...

I do not get to see the arms.. Actually, I don't distinguish anything, sorry.
But congrats mum! :)

Sarah Pearson said...

Mum of two girls here. Honestly, I'm not laughing. Much :)

Bryan Russell (Ink) said...

It's totally normal. In, you know, horses.

Johanna Garth said...

LOL I love that pic! I think I have some around from when I too had man parts inside of me! There's never any need to ask what the baby's going to be when it's a boy....men, they're obvious even inutero!

Julie said...

Your baby has some serious man-size parts! Hahaha I love it!

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss candace! yikes! you shoulda said x rated for on this post!ha ha. im just happy my little brothers got all his parts even if ones supersized. :)
...hugs from lenny

Matthew MacNish said...

Tell Sullster I said what up, son.

Elana Johnson said...

Congrats! Boys are so much fun. No, really, they are.

Len Lambert said...

I think that's umbilical cord. Hope it is, Candace. LOL.