Like the rejection I received an hour after finishing the article, even though I haven't queried or written in months.
I've never been in this place before. The world around me bustles in different directions. Friends straying, busy families falling to busier schedules, and my footprints, the marks I choose to leave, fade faster with each passing day. I've lost followers. My inbox is empty. My writing has stalled. Not just because I'm pregnant (with regular, strong contractions + high blood pressure already, btw...). Not just because I've been rejected more times than I can count (and betrayed by an agent) over a 2 year span. Not just because everything around me is moving too fast for me to catch up.
I sit, behind the scenes, as those around me get agents, sell books, make dreams come true. Dreams that use to be mine until I realized I wasn't on the right path. Some get married, have babies or move far from home much like I really want to do. Others stand still, like me (aside from the bun in my oven thing). But no one talks about it. Because to talk about it means to admit you're still...watching everyone move. I feel the waves pushing me into the currant, far from those at shore. I'm not sure what it means. For me, for writing, for life. But I know one thing.
I will not let fear, or money, keep me from reaching my destination. Wherever or whatever that may be.
I hope this finds you well, friends. Candyland is lonely without you.
P.S. BALLZ. <--Just because.