Yesterday I took the offspring to the dwelling place of old crap the art history museum. The advertisement bragged of guaranteed family fun. I admit, the offspring was intrigued by the life sized historical figures made of shining wax. But after watching Night at the Museum one too many times, there was absolutely no freakin way she’d believe they didn’t come to life. People gave us curious glances as she banged on the window in front of Atilla the Hun’s exhibit screaming “Mashu Mashu!!!”
The toe nail was about the size of the offspring’s head. She looked up at the pale gleaming stark naked lady with wide eyes.
“Mama whats dat?” she asked.
“Uh... A flying saucer.” Next
We went out to lunch at the posh museum restaurant (Subway), dined on delicacies (ham and cheese with mayo), and intellectually discussed the exhibits.
Offspring: "That man looked like a pile a poo." (referring to the replica of Germain Pilon)
Friday snuck up on me like kung fu ninja with an eating disorder. Now it’s time to feel me up. Please be sure to wash your hands. Better yet, use sanitizer. Especially you, Creepy. I know what you’ve been up to.
Random Fact- I once dated a Turkish prince named ‘Hazan’ and spent six weeks vacationing on his family’s yacht in the Mediterranean.
Random Fact- When I was eighteen I shared a jail cell with Whitney Houston’s ex ‘Bobby Brown’. It’s a long story.
This concludes your Candyland action (for now *wink wink*) Here’s wishing all my blogging buddies a frickin awesome weekend.
Candy out.
Okay, um, I think I might be out of an effing job if my peeps can do a better Candyland than Candyland herself, soooooo Imma take some time to get my junk together. Thank you Katie for entering! Tomorrow, the second place winner, Anne's entry! I hope your F Day was a good one. Until tomorrow.
(the only)
Candyland. OUT.
19 comments:
Creepy, sweets. A great replica. Love the photoshop and poo. Hah. Nicely done.
'K, C...you'll need to do this again sometime. Things have been crazy and I never found the time to partake. *weepy tear trickling down my cheek*
Freakin' awesome!
*Rolling around on the couch laughing*
It's all perfect, but the best part is The Random Facts. I wouldn't bat an eyelash if they appeared on a real Feel Me Up Friday. Yup, that's Candy, I'd say.
Clearly, I've been missing out by not checking out Creepy Query Girl's blog -- a mistake I will rectify immediately!
Oh man...This. Is. Epic. I'll be laughing all the way til' Friday!
~JD
That is hilarious Creepy. My mom is an artist so she used to drag us around to art museums all the time. I've seen a lot of naked people in my life...
This was too funny!
Brilliant. Nicely done CQG!
You are still the one and only, Candy :-)
Your posts always crack me up Candy and I had a blast flipping through them when I was writing the above! I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for ROCKING (I know, 'YOU ROCK' sound's so much cooler than 'thanks for rocking'.- what are we, on a frickin boat? But I'm keeping it as is.)
I'm so glad I won and Elana's query critique was awesome!
Very nice work lady. Completely homogeneous. Props to Katie CQG!
And Candyland - just for being you.
Loved this!
'a pile of poo'... he he!
wow if i didnt know it wasnt you id think it was you. cool!
...hugs from lenny
LOL! Ahhh, Candy, I've missed you! I'm glad to be back to blogging.
Oh my gosh I knew you two were secretly my besties... had you not said a thing I wouldn't have know that CQG did it! Wow she is flippin awesome, maybe she'll replace us all!!
She is one awesome winner! Candyland you have the most rockin' contests, sorry I didn't have time to participate!
This post? Hilarious.
Bobby B!! Haha that was awesome!
OMG! I am so blonde! I didn't figure this out for an embarrassingly long moment. I fell for it - hook, line, and sinker! All of it!
Creepy, you sound so much like Candy that it's...well, creepy! ha ha ha. :-)
hahaha That was priceless! good going Creepy!
Completely homogeneous
Contextual Ad Network India
Way to go Katie! This was great :)
Wow, Katie! I think you could qualify as Candy's clone! Very cool :)
Post a Comment