Yesterday I took the offspring to the
dwelling place of old crap the art history museum. The advertisement bragged of guaranteed family fun. I admit, the offspring was intrigued by the life sized historical figures made of shining wax. But after watching Night at the Museum one too many times, there was absolutely no freakin way she’d believe they didn’t come to life. People gave us curious glances as she banged on the window in front of Atilla the Hun’s exhibit screaming “Mashu Mashu!!!”
The toe nail was about the size of the offspring’s head. She looked up at the pale gleaming stark naked lady with wide eyes.
“Mama whats dat?” she asked.
“Uh... A flying saucer.” Next
We went out to lunch at the posh museum restaurant (Subway), dined on delicacies (ham and cheese with mayo), and intellectually discussed the exhibits.
Offspring: "That man looked like a pile a poo." (referring to the replica of Germain Pilon)
Friday snuck up on me like kung fu ninja with an eating disorder. Now it’s time to feel me up. Please be sure to wash your hands. Better yet, use sanitizer. Especially you, Creepy. I know what you’ve been up to.
Random Fact- I once dated a Turkish prince named ‘Hazan’ and spent six weeks vacationing on his family’s yacht in the Mediterranean.
Random Fact- When I was eighteen I shared a jail cell with Whitney Houston’s ex ‘Bobby Brown’. It’s a long story.
This concludes your Candyland action (for now *wink wink*) Here’s wishing all my blogging buddies a frickin awesome weekend.
Okay, um, I think I might be out of an effing job if my peeps can do a better Candyland than Candyland herself, soooooo Imma take some time to get my junk together. Thank you Katie for entering! Tomorrow, the second place winner, Anne's entry! I hope your F Day was a good one. Until tomorrow.